I hear that the Puppy Blender has teamed up with OJ to find the real hobo killers. They've been spotted driving a white Bronco around local golf course. Anyhoo, while they're busy, we at the Alliance will entertain ourselves by doing something that the LA county courts have forgotten how to do: examine Glenn Reynolds DNA. Let's get started by powering up the old electron microscope.
Hmm. Interesting( I feel like I should insert a "Heh" or "Indeed" right now). It appears that while most humans have a spiraling double-helix DNA pattern(Ted Kennedy excluded), Glenn Reynolds' pattern is bit harder to pin down. It's moving so rapidly, almost like some spinning metallic blades. Must increase magnification... Here it is! Well, as least his DNA isn't likely to rust. Let's see what else we can find by digging into the gene sequence.
Odd. I don't see the standard adenine, thymine, cytosine and guanine. This is a new sequence entirely. Let's decode:
Protosine again!. Is this the pattern?
Ytrosine. Weird. I've not seen this in DNA before.
Ectosine again. At least some of the bases are duplicated
Ubenosine... Cool. I think that the sequence is repeating now.
I give up. It just doesn't make any sense to me. The pattern comprising Reynolds' DNA appears to completely random and nonsensical. I leave any further investigation to the reader.
So it's time for another Alliance assignment, This time it's a doozy:
make up some crap about find some secret information about our fearless leader, Frank J.. As it turns out, there are several things that people don't know about Frank:
1) One anagram for IMAO is MAO I. That commie.
2) Frank isn't his real name. He had changed from John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt because people kept confusing him with the other guy.
3) Frank J. loves monkeys