Outside the Beltway hosts what is quite possibly the best caption contest in the history of the Internet. OUtside of midget pr0n sites, that is. Anyway, go be creative. Or perverted. Your choice.
You don't want to make her mad; you wouldn't like her when she's mad. Excerpt:
A weak President Bush would never have nominated Alito. Never. As I said earlier, it doesn't matter if YOU think he is weak, it's what Bush thinks about Bush that matters.
He doesn't think he's weak. He doesn't think he needs to work with the Dems. They fucked him when they suggested Miers and then didn't fight for her. Bush won't be listening to Harry Reid's bullshit advice anymore.
Okay, she isn't really angry in this post, but you get the idea.
Harvey, you know not what you've done. Mheh.
Someone's been leaking Senator Feinstein's private notes to Jeff Goldstein. Mheh.
Ace posts some images which I'm sure everyone has seen. However, I've posted a couple new ones below the fold. Not necessarily safe for work.
Meryl Yourish is now looking for work. Having been in that unfortunate position before, I'm willing to do what I can. I've forwarded the link to her online qualifications to a few friends of mine in the area, and am posting a link here as well.
Anyone else out there think that they can help? Click here.
The recent comments by the brain donor from N.C. State reminded me immediately of a classic SNL skit starring Eddie Murphy. He was the "last minute replacement" at what looked like, if memory serves, an American Legion get together. Can't find the video online yet(although it's available to purchase at Amazon), but I did find the lyrics with guitar chords. Good stuff.
Update: Found a copy of the video, but it's huge(around 40Mb), which is a ton if you're still using dial-up. However, it's not TOO bad on broadband, so check it out if you if you're into that sort of thing.
Probably something smaller to be found on BitTorrent. Just an FYI.
I'll admit that I was glad to see Miers withdraw her name. However, I think that the reaction of some is over the top. Jonathan Hawkins, one the of the bloggers I've read the longest, put a dancing Snoopy image at the top a post and, essentially, posted a "Yippee! She's gone! Good riddance!" type blog entry. I disagree with the tone. While I don't believe that Miers was a good choice for SCOTUS, I do however believe that she's a fine attorney, a decent person and a good friend of the president, the last item being obvious by her willingness to pull her name from the hat and limit the damage being done to Bush. Gloating over her withdrawal is petty and serves no purpose. Yes, conservatives should be glad that we're likely to get a strict constitutionalist with a paper trail and stronger credentials nominated and confirmed now, but I don't like it that some on the right are gleeful and giddy at what is likely a disappointment to Harriet Miers. She deserves better.
Update: Dale Franks takes Hugh Hewitt to task for his uncharacteristically whiny response to Miers' withdrawal. Excerpt:
Was it unfair to point out her dearth of experience, or lack of writing on Constitutional issues? Was it unfair to point out that a stellar host of law professors, judges, and long-time public officials with impeccable credentials were passed over in order to nominate her? Was it unfair to wonder, since no evidence of a fixed judicial philosophy could be found, if she was another Souter or Lewis Powell in the making?
Apparently Mr. Hewitt's position is that, since the president spoke, mutatis mutandis ex cathedra, in declaring her to be the candidate of choice, our responsibility was to remain silent little serfs, and if milord assures is that she is the person for the job, our proper role is to ignore any doubts about her qualifications and lack of clear judicial philosophy, and doff our caps and tug our forelocks.
Well, here's a little whack with the clue-bat: I have a perfect right to express my opinion on the president's nominees. I can call for the nominee's withdrawal. I can call on senators to vote the nomination down. Fortunately, I still live in a free country where can express my opinions, and if Mr. Hewitt doesn't like it, tough.
Well, anyway, at least that's over. I'm sure Mr. Hewitt will stop sulking over Ms. Miers the second the president announces a replacement nomination, just as I'm sure Mr. Hewitt will provide the president's nominee with unqualified support. No matter who it is.
Update: John Cole weighs in:
There was not going to be a defeat on the Senate floor. She was not going to get out of committee, and she was going to humiliate everyone in the process. And that is what Senators were relaying to the White House all week.
As to Hugh’s suggestion that this was somehow an ‘unconstitutional’ result, I would suggest Hugh doesn’t know what is in the Constitution if he thinks anything unconstitutional happened. The President nominated Miers. It became clear that she was unqualified and would not pass a vote. She withdrew her name from consideration. I will leave it to Hugh to demonstrate how this is a violation of either principle, precedence, Senate Rules, or the Constitution. Good luck with that, Hugh.
In short, Hewitt is simply lashing out at people who chose not to ‘trust’ the President to the degree that Hugh did. His charges have no merit, and his animosity is carelessly targeted. If he wants to be mad at anyone, it shouldn’t be the people who pointed out the flaws in this candidate. Perhaps after he cools down, Hugh will stop tilting at windmills and recognize that the person he should be mad at is Bush, who made this flawed nomination in the first place, putting his allies and poor Harriet Miers in an unfortunate position.
What he said.
The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative. WTF? I mean really, WTF?! Not to go into too much nausea-inducing detail, here's an excerpt from the FAQ:
What does Hufu ™ taste like? Does it taste like human flesh?
Hufu™ is designed to resemble, as humanly possible, the taste and texture of human flesh. If you've never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.
People: the other white meat. Ugh.
The Halloween outfit pictured below is one that might best be suited to a nudist colony. Or Jennifer Lopez, if you catch my drift.
And it's from Bill Quick: The Bush Administration: Cutting its throat to spite its base.
Interesting little hand-eye test found here. Made it to 19.358 seconds on my third try and decided to stop
Or a donut; whatever it takes.
Tip of the bile to Ace.
If this is where the leprechaun is hiding his gold, I think that I'll pass.
For all you men out there who, like me, hate shopping with a passion, there's a new invention that may one day force you to utter the words, "Sure, honey. I'd love to spend all day in frilly little boutiques instead of watching football."
The question is this: how in Hell did Universal expect to recoup the cost of making Serenity by limiting it's release to less than 900 theaters. I checked the average box office receipts for several movies(ones that have been out at least 3-4 weeks), the number of theaters and box office gross. Some of the numbers leap out at you:
Serenity: 887 theaters, $1.2k/theater, $24.2 million
Tim Burton's Corpse's Bride: 1702 theaters, $1.1k/theater, $50.5 million
In Her Shoes: 2237 theaters(WTF?), $1.7k/theater, $26.2 million
Corpse's Bride is in week 6, so it's first run price per theater has leveled out; In Her Shoes will likely continue to plummet, probably dropping to around the $1.2k/theater mark this week.
Anything leap out at you? Do you notice the most pronounced difference between Burton's movie, which will likely be considered a box office success, and Serenity, will may end up looking like a box office dud? Survey says.... DING-DING-DING! Why yes, that IS the number one answer: double the number of theaters and you might double the box office gross. Crap, even The Fog, which looked like it would suck, got released in almost 3000 theaters.
Maybe next time, if there is a next time, Universal will go with a wider release.
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.
Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota.
And they just keep coming.
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground!
"By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell - but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of thebalcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
This little home-built wind turbine produces about 1.5 kW when a 16 mph breeze blows. The website includes step-by-step instructions on how to manufacture and install your own wind-powered generator, with tips found here and turbine selection criteria found here.
Oh, and make yourself a nifty, low-power solar generator yourself to power some small things around the house. Could be useful if you lose power during a storm, or if you're simply going to be off-grid for a while.
Due to the latest PC bullshit in Britain, where piggy banks have been added to the scrap heap along with Piglet, I've decided to institute a recurring theme on this blog: Pig of the Day. And no, it won't be pictures of Michael Moore. Instead, I plan to post pictures of pigs, links to pig stories, pork recipes and pretty much anything related to the little porkers every day that I post something else. I'll even vary my verbiage so that lots of effing Google queries will return pig links to the asshole jihadist who everyone is so worry about offending. Funny; I don't remember these same people looking out for my feelings when some asswipe dropped a crucifix in a glass of urine and called it art.
Don't screw with me. I will Google-bomb lots of things so that they link to porcine-related websites. All your queries are belong to us.
And just because I can:
While I was on vacation, a junior Senator named Tom Coburn had the audacity to force his colleagues to vote "Yes" publicly for their pork barrel projects, instead of earmarking those particular funds for hurricane relief. Not surprisingly-that is, if you're not an imbecile- most Senators votes against the Coburn Amendment, including the majority of Republicans. Not coincidentally, those Republicans kissed any presidential aspirations goodbye. Here is the roll call for the vote on the Coburn Amendment, courtesy of Mark Tapscott :
FOR THE RECORD: The Yeas and Nays on the Coburn amendment
NAYs ---82Akaka (D-HI)
The Rolling Stones
The Grateful Dead
The Beach Boys
The Twilight Zone
Opus: quod fiere non potest
The Love Boat
The Young and the Restless
Pretium iustum est
The Price is Right
I've gone through my issues at length before, so I see no point in expounding on them further. However, in deference to the TTLB's effort, I submit the following: I oppose the Miers nomination.
And it comes from George Will:
As for Republicans, any who vote for Miers will thereafter be ineligible to argue that it is important to elect Republicans because they are conscientious conservers of the judicial branch's invaluable dignity. Finally, any Republican senator who supinely acquiesces in President Bush's reckless abuse of presidential discretion -- or who does not recognize the Miers nomination as such -- can never be considered presidential material.
Looks like Acidman has checked himself into recovery. Good. And it was because he wanted to, not because other nagged him into it. Even better. Excerpt:
I'm following the philosophy I've always preached on this blog. Actions have consequenes. YOU are responsible for your own life.
When I was on my kitchen floor Saturday night in a puddle of ice water and broken glass, unable to get to my feet, I thought, "What would Samantha think if she saw me now? What would Quinton think? What would MY MAMA think, for crying out loud?"
I made my choice then and there. All three would be ashamed of me and I was ashamed of myself. I don't want to go there again.
Even when you're all fucked-up, you can un-fuck yourself if you try. That's what I intend to do.
In case you haven't heard this type of thing before, I'll clue you in: this is how grownups behave. Admit when you've screwed up, kick your own ass and get started fixing your mistakes. I have a bit of experience with this sort of behaviour, although not from the position of an addict. Trust me: there are lots of ways that you can try to fuck up your life. Drugs and alcohol comprise only a small fraction of those ways.
Good luck, Rob. For what it's worth, my prayers are with you. Now go get well.
In a freaking heartbeat. Problem is, who'd be stupid enough to pay this much for my blog?
Thanks to Ace for making me laugh and cry at the same time.
Actually, the words belong to John Cole. Excerpt:
The blame for this nomination, quite simply, starts and stops with the White House. It is not, as Jeff points out, because conservatives are ‘sexist’ or ‘elitist,’ charges that infuriate me to no end. It is not because a bunch of weak-kneed moderates would vote down a conservative judge. It is not because the vetting process showed that there were skeletons in the closet of great minds like Luttig, McConnell, etc. It is not because, pace Dobson/Rove, conservative legal scholars everywhere were cowed into submission and terrified of a vicious confirmation process.
It is because this White House dropped the ball, and continues to offend and bungle at every opportunity. It is because, rather than fulfill their promise and appoint a qualified conservative with impeccable credentials and a solid judicial philosophy, they reached yet again into the inner circle to find someone Bush felt ‘confortable’ with and someone they thought would be confirmed without incident.
In short, it was an act of monumental cowardice, and the finger-pointing and smears, rather than help the cause of Harriet Miers and the White House, serve as a giant blinking neon sign pointing to the incompetence of the current White House and their reliance on short-term political calculations rather than exhibiting a quality most conservatives admire.
Nescio quid dicas
I don't know what you're talking about
Nemo hic adest illius nominis
There is no one here by that name
Ita erat quando hic adveni.
It was that way when I got here
I have nothing to declare
Vescere bracis meis
Eat my shorts
Noli me vocate. Ego te vocabo.
Don't call me. I'll call you.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult
Canis meus id comedit
My dog ate it
Die dulci freure
Have a nice day
Fac ut vivas
Get a life
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
Stand aside, little people! I am here on official business
Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant
May barbarians invade your personal space
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt...
You know, the Romans invented the art of love...
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant
May conspirators assasinate you in the hall
Magister mundi sum!
I am the master of the universe!
Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy
Cogito ergo sum
I think, therefore I am
Cogito ergo doleo
I think, therefore I am depressed
Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare
I think some people in togas are plotting against me
Nihili est - in vita priore ego imperator romanus fui
That's nothing; in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est
The check is in the mail
Non illigitamus carborundum
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Have you lost weight?
You haven't aged a bit!
Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam!
It looks great on you!
Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse!
A wig? I never would have guessed!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur
Your fly is open
Subucula tua apparet
Your slip is showing
In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes
You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth
Abutebaris modo subjunctivo
You've been misusing the subjunctive
Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt!
Hey, we're all in line here!
Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse
No, excuse me, I believe I'm next
Nonne de novo eboraco venis?
You're from New York, aren't you?
Remember the airplane that pork-barrel politics paid $500k to paint a fish on the side of? The Farkers have made their own contribution to this discussion. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Good stuff. Check out the rest here.
Make your inner geek happy with the Hobbit Name Generator, which will generate both your hobbit name and your elf name. Here are mine:
hobbit name: Gorbulas Gamgee-Took of Bywater
Elf name: Angrod Telrúnya
So. What are your names?
Here's some information about continuing education that you might be interested in.
Harvey once posted some rules for bloggers to follow, one of which I'll paraphrase: Don't tell people that you'll be gone for a while because it gives them a built-in excuse to ignore your blog.
[Sorry for any error in translation, but I'm too lazy right now to search Bad Example]
In any event, my wife and I are headed to the Bahamas for a week to celebrate, albeit a bit belatedly, our fifth anniversary. I may have pictures and/or stories to share when I get back. Then again, pictures of me could be used to scare small children, so I'll probably be a bit selective in what I post.
So grab some Geek tomorrow, because it'll be the last time for about 10 days.
Captain Ed types a thoughtful piece for the Washington Post, wherein he enumerates the 3 groups that the GOP has split into: The Loyalist Army, the Rebel Alliance and the Trench-Dwelling Dogfaces. Actually, I think Mark Tapscott has the fourth group identified pretty well: Long-time Loyal GOPer Looking for a New Party.
Is the GOP eating its own? Maybe. But I'm tired of the party that I voted for governing like the minority party that they were for 40 years. Then again, maybe they liked it so much, the party is doing its damndest to relive the past. Trust me when I tell you that they're on the right path.
I wonder how many people are more likely to believe my "trust me" statement in the previous paragraph than the implicit one given by the President by nominating Miers?
Update: Jonah weighs in:
Fed by what are to me very cheap arguments by RNC spokesmen and independent stalwarts of the administration -- chiefly, it seems, Hugh Hewitt -- there is now this permanently established belief in some quarters that people around here and elsewhere oppose Miers based purely on bad motives -- elitism, cowardice, sexism etc. I find this horribly disappointing and the sort of thing I normally expect from leftwingers.
Regardless, whoever started the name-calling, all of it is beneath a movement and a philosophy which is supposed to pride itself on dealing with uncomfortable facts. I don't mind arguments within the conservative camp. I relish them, as should be obvious. They are a sign of intellectual health and integrity. "Unity above all" may at times be a political imperative but it is a philosophical cancer. Those of you who argue Miers' rightwing opponents are hurting the cause have a fair political point to make, even if it shows evidence of a misunderstanding of conservative journalism's role generally and National Review's in particular (See for example, Ramesh's "The Case Against Silence"). But they too are hurting the cause when they impugn the motives of those they will undoubtedly wish to fight alongside in some future battle.
Update: It appears that the White House has enlisted the First Lady to continue the tactic of smearing its own base. Nice.
Hey, GOP! Start packing. You're likely moving to the minority party in 2006. Dickheads.
Final update: Richard Brookheiser weighs in:
Conservative defenders of the Miers pick attribute such violent and visceral reactions to snobbery: Our wise President is being second-guessed by a bunch of Beltway elitists and Ivy Leaguers who disdain the horny-handed daughter of toil nurtured at Southern Methodist University. But this charge is boob bait. Many leaders come from nowhere before rising to the top. Ronald Reagan went to Eureka College; Richard Nixon went to Whittier College; Abraham Lincoln went to no college. Ms. Miers had as many advantages as these men, or more. She only has fewer achievements.
The real reason her nomination sticks in the craw is the brass-and-leather whiff of the Praetorian Guard house. The ancient Praetorian Guard was an elite military unit that guarded Rome’s emperors and sometimes murdered them. The modern Praetorian Guard is the penumbra of family and cronies that, under the American imperial Presidency, is accorded unseemly attention and respect. Some Presidents look to it for actual officeholders. Bill Clinton put his wife in charge of health-care policy. John Kennedy put his brother in charge of the Justice Department. Mr. Bush seems to find the Praetorian Guard especially seductive. There were the Texas League Texans he sent to FEMA—Joe Allbaugh, Michael Brown. There was the way his running mate emerged from a search committee headed by—Dick Cheney. Look no further! Harriet Miers emerged in the same way, helping to vet judicial nominees. At least she tapped John Roberts before herself; gentlemen first. This is an elitism far more restrictive than anything Ms. Miers’ critics are charged with. Beltway/Ivy League elitism embraces anyone who works in the federal government, or who graduated from one of seven old colleges. The President’s elitism embraces anyone who works down the hall. He looked out over what Tom Wolfe calls “this wild bizarre unpredictable hog-stomping Baroque country of ours” and whom did he see? The woman sitting next to him.
Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?
Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog
Viri sunt Viri.
Men are slime.
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
You know, the Romans invented the art of love.
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Spero nos familiares mansuros.
I hope we'll still be friends.
Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.
Valui ad satanam in computatrum meum invocandum.
I succeeded in summoning satan into my computer.
You get paid for this crap?
I'm outta here!
Certamen Bikini-Suicidus-Disci mox coepit?
Does the Bikini-Suicide-Frisbee match start soon?
Me oportet propter praeceptum te nocere,
I'm going to have to hurt you on principle.
Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.
Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.
Let it all hang out.!
Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take my wife, please!
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Nihil est-in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
That's nothing-in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.
Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!
I forgot to polish the clocks!
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.
Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.
Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let's all wear mood rings!
Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
orbes volantes exstare
Flying saucers are real
Woof woof! Grrrr!
si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus lainis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a job in the fast paced, high-paying(!) world of Latin!
balaenae nobis conservandae sunt
Save the whales!
sona si latine loqueris
Honk if you speak Latin!
ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
Don't you dare erase my hard drive!
Huc accedit Zambonis
Here comes the Zamboni!
alterum ictum faciam.
I'm going to take a mulligan
Quid est illa in auqua?
What's that in the water?
Furnulum pani nolo
I don't want a toaster
Latine loqui coactus sum
I have this compulsion to speak Latin
Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!
You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me my money back!
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules.
If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.
Canis meus id comedit.
My dog ate it.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking alot.
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
Non sum pisces.
I am not a fish.
Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.
Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.
Non est mea culpa.
It's not my fault.
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
It's not the heat, it's the humidity.
Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.
Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.
Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
How do you get your hair to do that?
I am not lost.
Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero?
Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?
Re vera, potas bene
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.
Illiud Latine dici non potest
You can't say that in Latin.
Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.
Only you are can prevent forest fires.
Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.
Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
The only good language is a dead language.
Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
You do not know the power of the dark side.
Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Magnus frater spectat te...
Big Brother is watching you....
Monstra mihi pecuniam!
Show me the money!
Lege atque lacrima.
Read 'em and weep
Vacca, vacca, vacca
Cow, cow, cow.
Id est mihi, id non est tibi!
It is mine, not yours!
Read my lips...
Credo Elvem etiam vivere.
I believe Elvis lives.
Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you have too much education.
Si tu id aeficas, ei venient. Ager Somnia
If you build it, they will come
Cogito sumere potum alterum.
I think I’ll have another drink.
Noli nothis permittere te terere.
Don’t let the bastards get you down.
Duc, sequere, aut de via decede.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
Paucis verbis, quid est deconstructionismus?
What, in a nutshell, is deconstructionism?
More to follow. Lots more.
Some website in Asia hot-linked an image of Kirsten Dunst on my blog. After all, why bother to upload the image to your server when you can steal someone else's bandwidth? I decided to do a little file renaming. Check out the picture that they're linking to now.
In angels? Look at this picture before you decide.
Still not convinced? Then check out this one.
What? That one was supposed to make you believe in Hell
Tacitus tells a tale that many pet owners can relate to.
My mother has 4 cats. Recently, she adopted a fifth: Penny, a tiny little spit of a Maine Coon female. Penny had been abandoned in my mom's neighborhood, but had been fortunate enough to stumble onto my mother's deck. My mom fed her and took her in. The first visit to the veternarian's office provided the same bit of information that Tacitus had: Penny had an irregular heartbear, a 5 on a scale of 10. The vet said that she might live 15 years if her luck held. It was about twice 15 days. My mom left in the morning, with Penny sitting up in the window sill, watching my mom's car drive away. When she arrived home that afternoon, my mother found Penny dead, stretched out in her window seat. The short time together didn't matter. What did matter was the impact that my mother and Penny had on each other.
I have no words of comfort to offer; they'd fall flat and wouldn't convey how sorry I am for Tacitus. All I can say is that it's five years that he'll always remember fondly, because friends have a way of making things better.
Rest in peace, Oscar.
I just received a comment to a post of mine by a lefty bemoaning how un-funny conservatives are, and wondering why the only comedians are on the left. Okay, I'll wait while you catch your breath; my sides still hurt from laughing.
I'll grant you that - in print- I'm not a laugh riot, but claiming that conservatives aren't funny, while simultaneously stating that the left is the sole repository of humor, defies belief. I give you the following:
On the left
(Sorry, no links to the dipshit gallery)
If this were baseball, they'd have implemented the slaugher rule before it began. Some of my leftist friends are funny, funny guys, but by and large, the vast majority of lefties are humorless, ill-mannered twits, whose only source of amusement seems to be saying "Chimpy BusHitler...BWAHAHA!" as if it's best joke ever, and who believe, lack of evidence notwithstanding, that Al Franken is actually amusing. He once was, of course, but now he's just boring.
It's a bummer that I can't classify my commenter as a troll, because it was a fairly polite, if off the reservation insane. I look forward to more moonbattery in the future; I need the occassional laugh.
The recent spate of "you're sexist and elitist if you oppose Harriet Miers' nomination" have been sprouting up everywhere, even in places where people should know better. I was crafting a reasoned response to this crapola when I stumbled on this editorial by John Fund, who is far more eloquent than I. Excerpt:
Conservatives shouldn't care about her personal views on issues if they can convince themselves that she agrees with Chief Justice John Roberts's view of a judge's role: that cases should be decided the way an umpire calls balls and strikes, without rooting for either team. But the evidence of Ms. Miers's views on jurisprudence resemble a beach on which someone has walked without leaving any footprints: no court opinions, no law review articles, and no internal memos that President Bush is going to share with the Senate.
It is traditional for nominees to remain silent until their confirmation hearings. But previous nominees, while unable to speak for themselves, have been able to deploy an array of people to speak persuasively on their behalf. In this case, the White House spin team has been pathetic, dismissing much of the criticism of Ms. Miers as "elitism" or even echoing Democratic senators who view it as "sexist." But it was Richard Land , president of the Southern Baptist Convention, who went so far as to paint Ms. Miers as virtually a tool of the man who has been her client for the past decade. "In Texas, we have two important values, courage and loyalty," he told a conference call of conservative leaders last Thursday. "If Harriet Miers didn't rule the way George W. Bush thought she would, he would see that as an act of betrayal and so would she." That is an argument in her favor. It sounds more like a blood oath than a dignified nomination process aimed at finding the most qualified individual possible .
But that ignores the fact that every Republican president over the past half century has stumbled when it comes to naming nominees to the high court. Consider the record:
After leaving office, Dwight Eisenhower was asked by a reporter if he had made any mistakes as president. "Two," Ike replied. "They are both on the Supreme Court." He referred to Earl Warren and William Brennan, both of whom became liberal icons.
Richard Nixon personally assured conservatives that Harry Blackmun would vote the same way as his childhood friend, Warren Burger. Within four years, Justice Blackmun had spun Roe v. Wade out of whole constitutional cloth. Chief Justice Burger concurred in Roe, and made clear he didn't even understand what the court was deciding: "Plainly," he wrote, "the Court today rejects any claim that the Constitution requires abortions on demand."
Gerald Ford personally told members of his staff that John Paul Stevens was "a good Republican, and would vote like one." Justice Stevens has since become the leader of the court's liberal wing.
An upcoming biography of Sandra Day O'Connor by Supreme Court reporter Joan Biskupic includes correspondence from Ronald Reagan to conservative senators concerned about her scant paper trail. The message was, in effect: Trust me. She's a traditional conservative. From Roe v. Wade to racial preferences, she has proved not to be. Similarly, Paul Weyrich of the Free Congress Foundation recalls the hard sell the Reagan White House made on behalf of Anthony Kennedy in 1987, after the Senate rejected Robert Bork. "They even put his priest on the phone with us to assure us he was solid on everything," Mr. Weyrich recalls. From term limits to abortion to the juvenile death penalty to the overturning of a state referendum on gay rights, Justice Kennedy has often disappointed conservatives.
Most famously, White House chief of staff John Sununu told Pat McGuigan, an aide to Mr. Weyrich, that the appointment of David Souter in 1990 would please conservatives. "This is a home run, and the ball is still ascending. In fact, it's just about to leave earth orbit," he told Mr. McGuigan. At the press conference announcing the appointment, the elder President Bush asserted five times that Justice Souter was "committed to interpreting, not making the law." The rest is history.
Harriet Miers is unquestionably a fine lawyer and a woman of great character. But her record on constitutional issues is nil, and it is therefore understandable that conservatives, having been burned at least seven times in the past 50 years, would be hesitant about supporting her nomination.
So go ahead, stick your fingers in your ears while shouting "LALALALA!" This president has asked me to "trust him". Well, in this instance, I don't. Color me a skeptic, but I don't wish to spend the next 20 years discussing the Miers' Mistake.
Fortunately, as we have not yet reached Nerdvana, there are a number of steps that a woman whose priority remains marriage and children can take in order to happily achieve those goals:
1) Don't engage in casual dating relationships after 18. They're fun, and they'll also prevent you from pursuing more fruitful relationships.
3) Settle earlier rather than later. I can't tell you how many women I know who blew off good men in their late teens and early 20s who now regret doing so. Those who are not still single at 35 are now married to men generally considered to be of lower quality than the men they spurned before. Remember, your choices narrow as you get older, while men's choices broaden.
4) Let everyone know that marriage and children is your ultimate goal. Too many women, fearing the wrath of the Sisterhood, secretly wish for them while publicly and piously professing feminist-approved cant to the contrary.
6) Don't hesitate to end relationships that aren't leading toward marriage, or with men who are less than completely positive about the near-term prospect of children. If he hasn't proposed in 18 months, he has no intention of doing so. Cut your losses. Most men know how to string women along and know they'll have no problem replacing you when you finally call their bluff. Never confuse the masculine desire for conflict avoidance with malleability.
8) Be brutal when assessing the men who are interested in you. Too many women make the mistake of looking only at a man's desirable traits and ignoring his weaknesses early on. But it's not the first kiss that matters – it's the happily-ever-after part. The way he treats others is the way he will eventually treat you.
Let me address the points that I listed above in order:
#1: Friends of mine at work used to ask me, "Why don't you ask her out? She's hot and has the hots for you[note: this didn't happen often]. When I replied that I didn't see any future in such a relationship. other guys would look at me like I'd lost my mine. What I would tell them is that a 2-year relationship that tanks when you're 25 is a learning experience. A similar failed relationship when you're past the age of 30 is a waste, a lost opportunity to notice when the right one comes along. Consequently, I only had 3 relationships after the age of 30, all serious, with the last one becoming the best one: my wife. If I'd been busy chasing skirts, I probably wouldn't noticed when the real deal came around.
#3: Lots of women I knew in their 20's would routinely dump guys that were handsome, had good jobs and treated them like queens, replacing them with ill-mannered cads with whom they had "good chemistry". These women are now in their late thirties, lamenting the lack of "good guys". It offends them when I point out that they dumped plenty of good guys early on, but really, boo effing hoo. When they look back on the emotional wasteland that their lives have become, they need to realize their part in the whole mess instead of whining.
#4: This is true for both men and women. Before I proposed to my wife, I knew that she wanted children as much as I did, which was a good thing. Women aren't the only ones who want children, and men better make certain that their prospective spouse is on the same page.
#6: I met this smart, funny, pretty woman when I was at the GABF this year. She'd been living with a guy for four years, and they'd been dating for almost seven. I told her that her boyfriend better upgrade from girlfriend 1.0 to fiance 1.0 pronto; I told him the same thing, too. He seemed a little pissed that I'd broken the guy code, but too bad. Maybe because he's in his twenties he doesn't realize how many men are actively looking for intelligent, funny, pretty women, with marriage as the end goal. He'd better wise up, though, because it's a seller's market for that type of woman. Someone with a better head on his shoulders will come along and steal his girlfriend away from him, at which point he'll be lamenting the lack of free milk because, you know, all women are bitches.
I know, I know: I've lost some guy cred here. Too bad.
#8: I've lost count of the number of times women have complained to me about their SO's. The reality is that many women still harbor the illusion that they can bend a man to their will, and change him into what they want, rather than what the man actually is. A good friend of mine- okay, a former girlfriend- was living with a guy and told me the following:
"He's so nice some of the time. About 20% of the time, his real personality comes through and he's sweet and attentive. The rest of the time, though, he drinks too much and is a real bastard. I just wish that the real him would show up more often."
I made the point that if he was a dick most of the time, the odds were pretty high that he was, in fact, a dick. The fact that he was nice some of the time didn't make him a good guy, it made him a pretty good manipulator of someone who didn't look at the relationship through the lens of reality.
[I know what you're thinking, and no, my exceptional bluntness isn't what ended our relationship. In fact, we get along much better now as friends than we did as boyfriend/girlfriend.] The dose of reality helped her recognize that it was time to move on and she's been happily married to a really good guy for the last 4 years.
Vox's advice isn't just for women; men need to pay attention to what's important, too, or they'll end in the retirement community bragging about the year that they bagged 20 chicks, while looking on with resentment when the families of other seniors come to visit.
With Columbus Day upon us, I thought that it would be a good idea to link to a story that encapsulates much of today's consensus about said day. Excerpt:
"Well, Billy, an unfortunate part of human history involves countries invading their neighbors to take control. This has happened in many parts of the world, including Europe, which has a long history of war. But remember that Indigenous Peoples were also prone to war and fighting to expand their control well before Europeans arrived."
"Well, Columbus is also responsible for many germs and diseases that Europeans brought to America, causing untold suffering and death among the people who were here before us."
"Have you been drinking too much caffeine lately, Billy?"
"America's history of environmental destruction can also be laid at Columbus' feet, dad. As soon as the Europeans colonized America's pristine lands, they cut down the trees and plowed up the fields. Can you say soil erosion, dad?"
"Son, did I ever tell you that you take after your mother's side?"
"And what about slavery? It was the Europeans who created a flourishing slave trade in America. They did it to develop the land cheaply, so they could make giant profits. Columbus even made slaves out of some of the Indigenous Peoples who attacked him and his men."
"Son, do you remember where your mother hid the bourbon?"
The Braves are attempting to add to their already robust collection of snatching-defest-from-victory games; this one would set a new low, blowing a 5 run lead with 2 innings to play, giving up the game-tying homerun with 2 out in the bottom of the ninth. Update to follow.
Update: And the Braves have written the most pathetic chapter of their How To Lose Big Games Without Even Trying bestseller.
I never removed Insults Unpunished from my blogroll because I assumed that Robert Prather would be back eventually. Turns out that I was right. Cool.
So the UN's attempt to gain control of the Internet is about to become a fait accompli. Why? Because they want it? Or because they hate the US? Excerpt:
A number of countries represented in Geneva, including Brazil, China, Cuba, Iran and several African states, insisted the US give up control, but it refused. The meeting "was going nowhere", Hendon says, and so the EU took a bold step and proposed two stark changes: a new forum that would decide public policy, and a "cooperation model" comprising governments that would be in overall charge.
Much to the distress of the US, the idea proved popular. Its representative hit back, stating that it "can't in any way allow any changes" that went against the "historic role" of the US in controlling the top level of the internet.
But the refusal to budge only strengthened opposition, and now the world's governments are expected to agree a deal to award themselves ultimate control. It will be officially raised at a UN summit of world leaders next month and, faced with international consensus, there is little the US government can do but acquiesce.
I call bullshit. Who, exactly, is going to force the US to acquiesce to this power grab? France? Cuba? Iran? Sure. Let me know when Joan of Arc rises from the dead to lead their armies to victory. However, the issue is even more troubling than it appears on the surface. Neal Boortz weighs in:
Where can this go? Let's consider for just a moment that document that Bill Clinton called the greatest document ever written by man in support of human rights and freedom. That would the the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights. This document is supposed to be the great international blueprint for human rights around the world. The document says that it represents "a common standard of achievement for all peoples and all nations." Does the UN Declaration of Human Rights protect free speech? Freedom of the press? Well ... in a word, yes it does. Article 19 says that everyone has a right to freedom of opinion and expression. So far so good. The declaration also says that everyone has a right to rest and leisure and a right to a standard of living. Interesting. It also says that all mothers and children are entitled to "special care and assistance."
Problematic, to say the least. But, let's cut to the chase. Let's go to Article 29 Paragraph 3. "These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations."
Do you need to read that again? Please do. It's critical. This one clause negates every single right recognized in this so-called "Universal Declaration of Human Rights." You have no freedom of speech. You have no freedom of expression. You have no right to own property. You have no right to your precious standard of living ... you have nothing ... not one thing if your exercise of those rights interfere with the goals of the United Nations.
Now ... back to the Internet. When the United Nations gains control just how far will it go? Will it start censoring the Internet to make sure that nobody posts any information or opinions that might interfere with the "purposes and principles of the United Nations?There is talk, for instance, of a world-wide income tax on the wealthy to fund UN operations. Would anyone be allowed to post an opinion in opposition to this scheme?
Update: The Emperor weighs in, as only he can. Mheh.
Laurence wonders which team we're rooting for. Go tell him. Bonus points, maybe, if you're an Astros' fan, although I don't actually know of any such people. Last time I saw a picture of one, I could have sworn it was a Bigfoot photo.
I'm struggling to come up with anything useful to blog about today, so I've decided to go with the eye candy instead. Click on the extended entry to see more.
I second the nomination. Smart, funny and a looker to boot.
In the film you answer question that the series raised, like the Reavers and River. Were those the answers we were going to get if the TV show had lived?
Whedon: Very little has changed for the movie. Obviously, things were dropped, and ... most importantly, things were distilled into a fine two-hour liqueur instead of a more watered-down longer version. ... That was where I was going with the idea of River and her secret and the Reavers and theirs and how it all connected. I had planned to get there in a couple of years instead of a couple of hours. But apart from ... not being able to service all the subplots with all those different people, that is exactly where I was going with it. ... That was the easy part of structuring it and pitching it. This is where this series was building to, and I think if you took this as a separate story, it is an epic story and it has a great deal of meaning for today.
How much did you guys have to practice or work out to get back into the characters and get back into the mind space you were in?
Baccarin: Well, I had a lot of sex.
Torres: God bless you.
Baccarin: I had to say it. It had to be [said]. There's the whore thing. Now it's done and over with.
Are you all signed for another movie or two more?
Baccarin: Two more.
Torres: Two more.
Fillion: You are? This is awkward.
There's a whole lot more. Go check it, if you're so inclined.
This week's Carnival of the Recipes is basting, courtesy of Punctilious. Go. Eat. NOW!
Oh, and unless I'm misremembering, I believe that your's truly will be the host for #60.
Update: Turns out that there was a miscommunication. Dave at The Glittering Eye is this week's host.
So Miers is the choice, eh? Glad to hear it; now I don't have to worry about voting for a Republican in the 2006 elections. Not that I'll end up voting for a Democrat. Even here in the Old Dominion, a reasonable Democrat is pretty rare. A write-in vote for Mickey Mouse is always an option, though.
Many people, myself included, choked on the ridiculous spending during the 2005 campaign, but supported Bush for one of two reasons, maybe both:
1) the War on Terror
2) putting another conservative on the SCOTUS bench
Bush's selection of Miers is probably going to send the Republicans back into minority status. If the combination of a Republican President and Senate aren't sufficient to put a strict constructionist on the bench, many conservatives and libertarians are going to watch reruns of Cop Rock on election day.
By the way, would someone please tell Hugh Hewitt to stop acting like a know-it-all grandfather, lecturing to woefully ignorant children? I like Hugh. He's a smart guy, and a tremendous asset to the Republican party. But his 3 monkey Republicanism has worn pretty thin. Sometimes, it's required to See and Say evil about your party.
At least for now, anyway. This national craze of "everything I want is a fundamental right" is going to ruin this country. It's funny, though. I don't remember free wifi access being mentioned anywhere in the Constitution. I must have the racist, Pale Penis version. Excerpt:
Last week, San Francisco closed a 45-day request for information period in which companies could offer their ideas about blanketing the city with wireless Internet service, known as Wi-Fi. Newsom believes that such connections will add to San Francisco's technology credentials and help propel residents -- especially poor ones -- into the digital age.
"This is inevitable," Newsom said. "This is long overdue. This is a fundamental right."