July 30, 2004

Link of the day

Saw this article via Kim du Toit and just had to share. Excerpt:

It’s no accident that liberals are called do-gooders. They mean well, but they usually end up making things worse. Their hearts bleed for the disadvantaged, but, by helping them, liberals create unhealthy dependencies, disincentives, and dysfunctions that end up harming the very people and communities they intend to help. It’s tempting to conclude that liberals are stupid, but I think it’s more complicated than that. They’re impatient. They want results now, not later. They’re shallow. They view humans as sentient beings, not as rational, autonomous agents. They’re impetuous. They don’t think through the implications of their policies.

With all due respect to my liberal friends, these are not the traits of the wise. They are the traits of children. Not only are liberals not entitled to govern; they don’t deserve to govern. They need to grow up, develop a more holistic view of the person, develop a more realistic view of human nature, and cultivate a sense of patience. They need to stop patting themselves on the back for being benevolent, compassionate, caring, and sympathetic. Benevolence is neither necessary nor sufficient for acting rightly. Caring, far from being a synonym for justice, is often an impediment to it. It’s not for nothing that we say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Liberals prove it every day.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:37 PM | Comments (4)

This game would have killed me

Mamamontezz posted the John Kerry Acceptance Speech Drinking Game. Normally, I feel silly for being the last person in the blogiverse to notice something this good. This time, though, I'm glad. I would never have recovered to make it to work. Excerpt:

Cues for taking your beershot:

1. Every time he says "when I served in Viet Nam."

#1 alone would have put me into an alcoholic coma. I can't believe that anyone survived all eight.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:21 PM | Comments (0)

Wictory Wednesday, special Friday afternoon edition

Whoopsy, I nearly forgot this week.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:08 PM | Comments (0)

DNC acceptance speech

Looks like James has got it covered, which saves me from having to do ti. Truthfully, though, his effort far exceeds anything that I could have done.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:45 PM | Comments (1)

The truth about stem cell research

As I've mentioned to many people, the whole embryonic stem cell kerfuffle is a non-issue since the best results to date have come from ADULT stem cells. Michael Fumento has the scoop on the situation, as well as a serious backhand to Ron Jr.. Excerpt:

As to Ron Reagan’s convention speech, it was so opposite the truth as to resemble a photographic negative.

Far from blocking federal embryonic-stem-cell research funding, Bush specifically authorized it so long as it used existing lines of embryonic cells. But more remarkably, Ron Reagan made absolutely no reference to an alternative to embryonic stem cells that is decades more advanced and carries absolutely no moral baggage. "Adult stem cells" can be extracted from various places in the human body as well as blood in umbilical cords and placentas. They were first used to treat human illness in 1957.

By the 1980s, adult stem cells were literally curing a variety of cancers and other diseases; embryonic stem cells have never been tested on a human. Adult stem cells now treat about 80 different diseases; again embryonic stem cells have treated no one. Adult stem cells obviously aren't rejected when taken from a patient's own body, though they may be from an unmatched donor; embryonic stem cells have surface proteins that often cause rejection. Implanted embryonic stem cells also have a nasty tendency to multiply uncontrollably, a process called "cancer." Oops.

Regarding Alzheimer's specifically, drugs will probably provide the cure. But forget embryonic stem cells, as Ronald McKay, a stem-cell researcher at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, recently told the Washington Post. He labeled claims of an embryonic-stem-cell cure for Alzheimer's "a fairy tale."

The only potential advantage embryonic stem cells ever had was the belief that only they could be coaxed into becoming all the different cells of the body. We don't even know whether that's true. Conversely, three different labs have now discovered it may be true of certain adult stem cells.

Read the whole thing.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:00 PM | Comments (0)

July 29, 2004

Some comments

I'm a political junkie. My beloved wife? Not so much. However, during the conventions, she will dutifully sit with me while I watch some of the speeches so that we can spend some time together. Doesn't sound romantic? Mind your own business. Anyway, we watched John Edwards last night and there were a couple of times when my wife looked at me and said, "What the Hell is he talking about?" I refer specifically to the couple of mentions about how minorities are treated in this country. I'm too lazy to look up the particulars, but I remember it well enough to give you the gist:

1)"...and blacks had to go up to the balcony to watch a movie..."
WTF?! I felt like I'd entered a time warp to back before the Civil Rights Act had been passed. Like Edwards, I grew up in North Carolina. Unlike little John, I seem to remember that segregation ended some time ago. Am I saying that all bigotry has been erased in this country? Of course not; I'm not stupid. What I am saying is that this country has made great strides the last 40 years or so and John Edwards is purposely ignoring that. It couldn't possibly be some backhanded way of calling Republicans racist, could it? I dunno. My bullshit meter pegged the needle during that part of the speech.

2)"...minorities should have the save rights as everyone else and not be treated differently..."
Again I say, WTF?! I'm wondering if little John inhaled too many fumes working in the mill as a youth because his thought processes seemed to be stuck in that time period. Get a clue, dude. It's 2004, not 1954.

One final thought on the Dog and Donkey Show DNC: any party that gives Al Sharpton a coveted, primetime appearance on national television during it's national presidential nominating convention, and does so willingly, should be ashamed of itself. However, we know how little shame many Democrats have. And I'm referring to the self-styled leaders of the party and not the rank and file, so no crap about how I'm tarring all Dem's. For the record, though, the number of Democrats who actually appear reasonable seems to be shrinking. I had trouble finding a handful during the 2000 campaign who would say that the James Byrd ad was completely reprehensible. My guess is that it would be even more difficult this year.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

This turd should rot in Hell

Some piece of human debris violated a dog with a bottle before raping the dog himself. Can we please reinstitute flogging as a punishment? Pretty please?

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:12 PM | Comments (4)

A Democrat for George Bush

I just finished reading Bob Just's article over at WND. Just is a lifelong Democrat-I believe- who believes that George Bush is the right man for the job this election year. I was struck by certain simliarities between his stance and that of Michele, who will be voting for a Repulican for President this year for the first time ever. And I have to wonder how many other R-voting-Dem's there will be in this year's election. Anyway, the post is well worth reading in its entirety, but here's a snippet to whet your appetite for more:


Now is a time of decision. We must choose who we are as a people. Voters will soon be going to the polls to actually pick a country. Sadly, most of us don't really know that in fact this is what we are doing. Some conservatives, preoccupied by legitimate complaints about certain Bush decisions, are actually thinking of "third-party" voting. In an election where every vote counts this would be a disaster, not just because a vote for a conservative third party candidate would be a vote for John Kerry (and age-old argument against third parties) but even more because George Bush is absolutely the right man for the job. I believe he is essential to our future. Here's why.

George W. Bush understands the choice our nation faces, just as Ronald Reagan understood it. I think President Bush knows that we have reached the pivot point in America's effort to reclaim itself from 20th-century secularism. In his farewell address, President Reagan further warned Americans that although there was a resurgence of patriotism in America, it would not take hold unless we institutionalized this "new patriotism." It couldn't last if it was only a matter of popular opinion because the entrenched secular establishment described above would resist. Reagan knew we had to fight for America. And now that fight is fully joined.

Go read it all.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:06 PM | Comments (0)

Not so funny anymore

I just to joke about how bad something was by suggesting that it was like falling headfirst into a septic tank and opening your mouth to yell for help. This story makes that a little less amusing now.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)

Exactly

Neal Boortz displayed the following image on his website. It expresses a sentiment that I believe we can all appreciate.

Now I know how the Puppy Blender feels because I have the overwhelming urge to say "Heh" right now.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:12 PM | Comments (1)

July 28, 2004

A simple lesson

Emily weighs in on the recent Ronstadt/shitheadMoore hubbub. Excerpt:


Unlike the management of the Aladdin hotel and casino, I couldn't care less what Linda Ronstadt thinks of Michael Moore. When I go out to enjoy an evening, though, I prefer not to have politics of any brand shoved down my throat, so I guess I'll just scratch Ronstadt off my list of performers I would like to see live.

However, I would like to say this: Ms. Rondstadt, I will take my head out of my mashed potatoes if you pull yours out of your asshole. That was such a condescending remark that I'm shocked a woman of your age would say something like that. If Americans need to inform themselves on issues, the last effing place they should be doing it is at one of your concerts or at a goddamm movie theater. At least you are benevolent enough to not dictate to your fans the way they vote. Thank you for your generosity on that count.


Posted by Physics Geek at 09:03 PM | Comments (0)

I'm always the last to know

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned that I wasn't dropping Rachel Lucas from my blogroll? Looks like she reversed herself yet again and has been posting up a storm. Of course, I notice this little fact a couple of days after she goes on vacation. However, I've had some fun reading her posts which I didn't know existed. So I've got that going for me.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:49 PM | Comments (0)

When you have den Beste in the bloodstream

The results are similar to this post by Dean. It's longer than most of his recent posts and very thoughtful. Dean articulates his positions well, but I enjoyed the discussion in the comments as well, in part because Mrs. du Toit articulates my position better than I could have stated it; I mentioned when I Blogrolled Dean that I agreed with him only about 60% of the time. Regardless, his posts always make me think about my own positions. Anyway, go read the whole thing. Now.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:57 PM | Comments (0)

Feeling stressed at work?

How to handle office conflicts.

fight.gif

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:35 PM | Comments (9)

A fairy tale for this age

Well, it certainly isn't Hans Christian Anderson, but the story found here does provide some interesting insights. I can't get over the nagging suspicion, though, that I've heard this story before. Naahh.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:40 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2004

Still more recycled jokes

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

-- A self-induced hangover - $100.00

-- Broken furniture - $200.00

-- Breakfast - $10.00

-- Saying the right thing - Priceless

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:04 PM | Comments (1)

The last laugh

Check out the guy in this story. His life had gone into the crapper. He'd had to put his dog to sleep; he'd wrecked a car he'd spent 3 years restoring; and he'd caught his wife cheating on him, which led to divorce. Life sucks, huh? Well, things have a way of balancing out: 2 days after his divorce was finalized, he won the lottery. No word in the article on whether or not he's stopped calling his ex-wife to taunt her.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:55 PM | Comments (0)

WTF?

So a dentist was caught injecting his own semen into the mouths of several of his female patients. Really freaking strange, right? Not as strange as this comment from the psychiatrist that evaluated him:

An Atlanta psychiatrist testified Sunday she doesn't think Dr. John Hall, a Cornelius dentist accused of injecting semen into the mouths of six female patients, has a psychiatric illness or an interest in deviant sex.

Let me repeat: WTF?!

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:50 PM | Comments (1)

Beaten to the punch

While watching Bill Clinton speak last night- and let's face it, the guy has always had the ability to connect with his audience; last night was no exception-I was mentally fisking each of his talking points. My plan was to type up all of my rejoinders this morning. It turns out that Rich Lowery had beaten me to the punch. Here's his article reposted in its entirety:


Boston, Mass — Mr. President, you said Bush cut your taxes. Have you paused to think that maybe the tax cuts, like at least a few other things in life, aren't about you personally?

You say the rich too want to "do their part." Do you know there might be ways to "do your part," to help others and the country, that don't involve handing money over to the federal government?

You say we shouldn't have attacked Iraq "before the weapons inspectors finished their job." When exactly would they have finished their job? In 2003? 2004? Ever?

How did your Iraq policy allow inspectors to finish their job? Were they going to finish their job from outside the country?

You say your policy was to take "deadly" assault weapons off the streets. How about all the "deadly" assault weapons that were not included in your miniscule and symbolic ban? Were they less deadly? Please explain why. Or are some deadly assault weapons better than others?

Do you know anything about what really caused crime to go down in the 1990s (beginning before you took office)? Aren't you at least a little curious?

You say Democrats will bring America a positive campaign. Some evidence, please? Do you realize your former operative Harold Ickes (a Democrat, yes?), among others, is savaging President Bush with millions upon millions of dollars worth of negative ads?

You say that we are having an argument over "the best way to build the safe, prosperous world our children deserve." Do teenagers deserve a safe, prosperous world? How about adults?

You say Republicans believe in concentrating wealth. Since the fabulously wealthy got even more fabulously wealthy during your time in office — do you believe in the same thing?

You never took serious efforts to implement the Kyoto treaty or have the U.S. come under the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court. So are you too a dangerous unilateralist?

You say that "for the first time ever" there were tax cuts while the U.S. was on a war footing. Is it your contention then that there were no tax cuts during the Cold War?

Isn't one of your finest legacies supposed to be your free-trade accomplishments? Was that really not so important, after all, now that you have become a demagogue on trade?

You say your time in office produced a cleaner environment. But hasn't the environment gotten cleaner over the last four years too — thanks to George Bush? You say home ownership hit records during your time in office. Now it has hit even higher records — so is Bush a better home-ownership president than you? You say you produced "more health care." But wasn't there famously a health-care crisis during your time in office? You take credit for a "modernized defense force." Now it's even more modernized — so is Bush the better defense president? You boast of "strong efforts against terror." Haven't Bush's efforts, pretty inarguably, been stronger?


You take credit for the surpluses. What factor in creating those surpluses did you like more — the unprecedented restraint in domestic discretionary spending or the stiff cuts in the rate of growth of Medicare spending? While we're at it, looking back, what was your favorite personal position on the deficit — that it could never be eliminated, that it could be eliminated in ten years, in nine years, in eight years, in seven years, or that you were always in favor of its elimination and affected it almost single-handedly through your sheer budgetary genius?

If you are responsible for everything that happened in your time in office, why not mention the downturn of 2000 and the corporate scandals of the late 1990s?

Do you say all this stuff just because it sounds good? Never mind. We know the answer to that.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:43 PM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2004

Dog bites man

Everyone's talking about Sullivan's implicit endorsement of John Kerry. Too many sites to link to, although LGF was one of the first. Interestingly enough(interesting only if you haven't been reading Andrew regularly), Sullivan tries to state that Kerry is the more conservative candidate. Apparently this is what single issue justifying can do to a brain. In Sullivan's case, of course, it's gay marriage. For some reason, he didn't believe candidate Bush when he stated repeatedly in 2000 that he thought marriage was only between a man and a woman. In any case, when President Bush stated the exact same view, Andrew melted down completely and has yet to recover. It's too bad because he's a smart guy who USED to be reasonable. Anyway, I've long said that many opposed to the FMA on "federalist" grounds were, in reality, waiting for the judiciary to impose gay marriage by fiat. Jonathan Hawkins provides ample evidence of Andrew's blantant hypocrisy. How? By quoting Sullivan himself. Excerpt:

"Yes, of course you can find some legal activists who want to try and use the Full Faith and Credit Clause to nationalize marriage immediately. But they won't succeed; they have no legal precedents; and their legal argument is extremely weak - as even they often concede. Yet the default position of the far right is the notion that marriage in one state automatically means marriage in every state. That argument is the one with resonance around the country, and it's an argument designed to foment a sense of urgency about stopping any state from amending its laws now. It was the sole reason for the appalling Defense of Marriage Act. And it's phony.

...My argument was simply that legal marriage for all citizens in one state doesn't mean it will be automatically extended to every other state. I was trying to rebut that notion - very slyly inserted into the debate by the far right (and some on the left) for the past several years. Now to the broader point: there is a big difference between saying that if marriage becomes legal in Massachusetts, the Constitution will make it legal in every state because of the Full Faith and Credit clause; and saying that one day the Supreme Court might rule on the matter on the grounds of equal protection, invalidating all bans on same-sex marriage. Theoretically, the Court could make such a ruling even if there's not a single state with equal marriage rights. In other words, it's a completely separate issue. And as a matter of law and politics, it's very, very unlikely that such a thing will happen any time in the foreseeable future.

...I think the denial of marriage rights to 3 percent of the population is a grotesque denial of a basic civil right - more profound than denying the right to vote, in fact. One day in the distant future, SCOTUS may see that. But that doesn't make it likely, or even conceivable within the foreseeable future.

I bring this up because the legislature is finally performing a task which they have always had the authority to do: reining in judges by taking away marriage from their purview. And this had Andrew in a tizzy why? Because despite his federalist protestations against the FMA, he wants the courts to decide an issue which he knows he cannot win at the ballot box. I guess that consistency was too much to hope for.

Update: Stephen Green fisks Sullivan. Since Stephen actually agrees with Andrew on the issue of gay marriage, this should get Sullivan's attention. Sadly, it won't.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:59 PM | Comments (0)

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

Jonah just linked to this advertisement over at Planned Abortion Parenthood. Slogan? "I Had An Abortion."

Update: Looks like others have noticed as well. And the creator of worlds is all over it.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:57 PM | Comments (0)

Breaking news!

Michael Moore has been asked to lend his name to a new perfume line. Apparently, the "stench of decaying shit" was already in use.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:43 PM | Comments (2)

A previously undiscovered niche of voters

The Eowyn voter, courtesy of the Resplendent Mango. And here's the image:

Eo-voterS.jpg

Bang, zoom, into the blogroll with you. Thanks to Dean for pointing out this blog.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:11 PM | Comments (0)

Time for congratulations

Susie has justed posted her 1000th post. All hail the Alliance webmistress! Stop by and leave her a comment.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:07 PM | Comments (0)

And my wife wonders why I'm so opposed to sending our children to public school

It's because of crap like this. Look, I don't flog public schools often. Two of the best teachers I've ever had taught in the public school system. Of course, they were let go during a budget crunch because they didn't have tenure, but that's a different matter. However, I'm sickened by the mind-numbing idiocy that's oeverwhelmed public schools. It wasn't that long ago when articles like this were surprising because they were so rare. Now it's the norm. Bleah.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

When reality IS the parody

Spoons linked to this article, penned by President Reagan's daughter Patti Davis. Patti, like her brother Ron, is an avowed liberal so I usually ignore whatever pablum dribbles from her mouth. However, the following statement is so bizzare that I cannot help but reprint it here:

Many things have been said about the movie, and of course about its director, Michael Moore. But I don’t think I’ve heard anyone comment on Moore’s love for America. It seemed evident to me that the film was born from that love.

Patti, Patti, Patti. You need to find a new dealer because whatever pharmaceuticals you're ingesting have melted your brain.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:27 PM | Comments (0)

::drool::

I go away for a few days to attend my niece's wedding and Michele posts this: a recipe for Guinness ice cream. Looks like I've got some cooking to do tonight.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:47 PM | Comments (1)

July 22, 2004

If Abbott and Costello were around today.....

Received the following gazillion times forward email:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W"
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
OSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
Pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:35 PM | Comments (4)

My sides hurt

I was reading this article that shreds Berger's credibility even more(which I hadn't thought possible) and then nearly choked on the last paragraph, which is a quote from former White House press secretary Joe Lockhart:

"This is a terrible experience for him, and he's embarrassed by his mistakes," Lockhart said, "but I think he also feels a sense of injustice that after building a reputation as a tireless defender of his country that many Republicans would try to assassinate his character to pursue their own ends."

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A Democrat gets caught red-pantsed and it's dirty Republican plot? I know! A secret Bush operative hid in Berger's clothing and grabbed the documents. Stop it, you're killing me!

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:43 PM | Comments (4)

Rhetorical question alert!

I visit Hugh Hewitt's blog daily. He's both informative and entertaining. The title for his latest Weekly Standard article made me laugh, though:

The Gap
Sandy Berger's pilfering of papers from the archive should be big trouble for the Democrats. Why is the press AWOL?

Helloooo?! Anyone?! Bueller?

Let's be honest: I didn't think that the press could match the level of disigenuousness that they've displayed ignoring the Wilson story. Amazingly, I was dead wrong. Something that hurts the Democrats? Stick yourfingers in you ears and shout "LA LA LA LA LA" as loudly as you can. Information that could potentiall damage the Kerry campaign? Mention Abu Ghraib, regardless of the subject matter. Example:

"Today marks the opening of the Virginia State Fair, which is full of wonders that the prisoners at Abu Ghraib won't have the chance to enjoy."

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:03 PM | Comments (0)

I've been slack lately...

But others are doing their part for the Alliance. Check out Harvey's latest work. Excerpt:

If you're like me, you probably get annoyed when you see stupid bumper stickers on a car like "Bush lied, people died" and "No blood for oil". Don't you wish you could put another sticker on there to make that car a little more fair and balanced? For example:
...
There are no WMD
There are no active WMD
There are no stockpiles of active WMD
There are no large stockpiles of active WMD
Support Goalpost Movers Union Local 538

In the immortal words of the Puppy Blender, "Heh". Read the rest.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:15 PM | Comments (2)

July 21, 2004

Adopt a cat, anyone? Please?

My mother has 4 cats. Two she got from animal shelters and two she adopted from strays. Last year, another stray started showing up in her yard. She fed it and gave it water; she also added a second "cat house" on her deck to give it a nice place to sleep(one of her cats already lives outdoors full-time). This morning, she was finally able to get the new stray-Blackie- and take it to the vet for a checkup. It turns out that Blackie is infected with the feline leukemia virus. This means, of course, that my mother can't bring the cat into the house like she wanted because it would be dangerous to the uninfected cats. However, she can't release the cat back into the neighborhood because it would

1) possibly infect other cats and
2) means that Blackie would suffer and die all by himself

Currently, she doesn't know what to do. The vet has agreed to board Blackie while we look for a home for him. Of course, he would have to stay inside for the rest of his life. Some cats die within a couple of years from feline leukemia, while a few have lived as long as 11 years infected with the virus. Currently, Blackie just appears infected. The vet hasn't determined yet if the kitty AIDS is full blown. If Blackie actually sick-not just infected- then the choice is clear: euthenasia. However, if he's merely infected, it's possible that he could lead a happy life for several years. Maybe more. He's obviously a little reticent around people, having lived as a stray for a couple of years. However, with some coaxing and TLC, he could become a good pet for someone that is happy to be a single cat household. Be aware that he cannot be allowed back outside again. So I'm asking my readers-both of them- to post a link to this story. If Blackie is just infected, but not actively disease ridden, and someone is willing to give him a happy home for however long he has, we can try and work something out. I'd hate to have the vet have to kill him just because we can't find a home.

I realize that I'd have a better likelihood of success if I had the traffic of the Puppy Blender, but I'll take the chance that someone with high traffic links to this post. I will post an update on Blackie's condition as soon as I know something definitive.

Why can't I take him? Because I already have 3 adopted strays in my household and all 3 are healthy. Much as I'd love to help, I cannot risk the infection to my cats. Hence the request for a single cat household adoption.

Thanks for reading. I know that I'm asking for a miracle, but that's pretty much the only chance left at this point.

Update: The cat currently resides in Richmond, VA. Thanks to Harvey for pointing out that I had failed to mention that.

Update: Serenity links to another horrifying story where some pieces of excrement treat an animal like some useless debris to be discarded. It's related to Blacie how? Only in that people act like such turds towards animals too often and this is one case where an abandoned cat(and yes, one infected with feline leukemia) can possibly be given a decent home where he can live out his life. Yep, this post is a Hail Mary; my mother and I are working the live humans in the area, too.

Final Update(and it's good news!): Sometimes the Hail Mary actually works: Blackie has a home. There is a pet rescue home not far from here that takes mostly dogs, but has a new FIV/feline leukemia positive cats, and the people there have agreed to take Blackie. The vet will give him all of his shots now and neuter him before he heads on to the pet hotel.
Thanks to everyone for helping, and especially to Harvey for providing the extra linkage and traffic. I will now remove this post from the top of this blog.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:24 PM | Comments (6)

Maybe it's time for another Hillary appearance on television

What else are we to make of Joe Wilson trying to Big Lie his way out of his current quandry? Apparently, Joe decided to take his case to the public more or less repeating the Clinton it's-all-a-VRWC canard. Since Wilson can count on the liberal mainstream media to help defend him, it would normally be a good plan. This time, though, those pesky stubborn facts are really against him. Qando uses those facts to make Joe Wilson his bitch.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:07 PM | Comments (0)

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

Found this story via Cold Fury. I love Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, fresh out of the hot oil, coated with a gooey layer of sugar. This, however, is an abomination. Ugh. I already had a similar beverage in mind:

1 pint Heavy whipping cream
2 dozen Boston Cream filled Krispy Kreme donuts
1 pound lard

Blend in Cuisinart until lardy foam forms. Ingest via IV; keep cardiologist and mortician on speed dial.

Unrelated update: Mike also posted this about the new reports of WMD being found in Iraq. Money quote:

Victory for the Dems this fall means defeat for the US in the WoT. That really is all there is to it. It’s a source of constant rueful amazement to me that some otherwise very smart people like Andrew Sullivan can’t see it, or refuse to, or are willing to put other issues ahead of it. I don’t understand that at all, and I’m not sure I even want to.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:24 PM | Comments (2)

Required reading

Good ammunition for the next moonbat starts screeching that "Bush is Hitler!" Thanks to Michele for pointing it out.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:16 PM | Comments (0)

How NOT to run a campaign

Steve makes a strong analysis of the whole Sandy Berger fiasco. Let's see what we have here: former NSA, campaign advisor to Kerry, missing documents related to terrorism from the time before 9/11, said documents destroyed. Okay, tell me the truth. Berger is a Rove plant, isn't he? Maybe we'll get to hear the "no controlling legal authority argument" again.

I love election season.

Update: Emily steals my idea before I even had it. Of course, I don't own Photoshop, so it's just as well.

Update: Emily was kind enough to point out that Ken Summers created the image. Thanks for the heads up. Sorry for not giving you proper credit, Ken.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:38 PM | Comments (2)

Wictory Wednesday

So Joe Wilson turns out to be a complete liar: Bush not only didn't lie about Iraq seeking to aquire uranium, Wilson's own reports and memos actually emphasize President Bush's position. And Wilson is a Kerry campaign advisor? Good grief. I've become convinced that the Democrats have ceased to be a serious party. When someone that you've held up as a paragon of virtue turns out to be a lying sack of sh*t, and you've embraced the Michael Moore wingnut section of the population, well, you shouldn't be surprised when the majority of Americans don't think that you should be allowed to handle the reins of this country. I know that this sounds harsh, but I've been waiting-apparently in vain-for the Democrat leadership to stand up and say, "These fringe groups are not representative of the party as a whole. These ridiculous allegations an invectives are beneath us." For some reason, they don't. The Republicans long ago repudiated the nutjobs within the party. It's a sign of maturity. Message to the Democrat leadership: grow up. It's not a fluke that some lifelong members of your party will be voting for George Bush in November.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:37 PM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2004

A brief History of Time Part I (the B.C. years)

Received via email once upon a time...
--------------------------------------------------------
3050 B.C.- A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen
and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic
for all times.

2900 B.C.-Wondering why the Egyptians call that new thing a Sphinx becomes
the first of the world's Seven Great Wonders.

1850 B.C.-Britons proclaim Operation Stonehenge a success. They've finally
gotten those boulders arrange in a sufficiently meaningless pattern to
confuse the hell out of scientists for centuries.

1785 B.C.-The first calendar, composed of a year with 354 days, is
introduced by Babylonian scientists.

1768 B.C.-Babylonians realize something is wrong when winter begins in
June.

776 B.C.-The world's first known money appears in Persia, immediately
causing the world's first known counterfeiter to appear in Persia the next day.

525 B.C.-The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern
games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a mustache
in the women's shot put. However, the Egyptians do!

410 B.C.-Rome ends the practice of throwing debtors into slavery, thus
removing the biggest single obstacle to the development of the credit
card.

404 B.C.-The Peloponnesian war has been going on for 27 years now because
neither side can find a treaty writer who knows how to spell Peloponnesian.

214 B.B.-Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the
1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't
keep the neighbor's dog out.

1 B.C.-Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over
what to call next year.

Part II ( Early A.D.)

79 A.D.- Buying property in Pompeii turns out to have been a lousy real
estate investment.

432- St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the
natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their
recorded history.

1000-Leif Ericsson discovers America, but decides it's not worth
mentioning.

1043-Lady Godiva finds a means of demonstrating against high taxes that
immediately makes everyone forget what she is demonstrating against.


1125-Arabic numerals are introduced to Europe, enabling peasants to sole
the most baffling problem that confronts them: How much tax do you owe on
MMMDCCCLX Lira when you're in the XXXVI percent bracket?

1233-The Inquisition is set up to torture and kill anyone who disagrees
with the Law of the Church. However, the practice is so un-Christian that it is
permitted to continue for only 600 years.

1297-The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight
to buy IBM or Xerox.

1433- Portugal launches the African slave trade, which just proves what a
small, ambitious country can do with a little bit of ingenuity and a whole
lot of evil!

1456-An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her death
sentence. Unfortunately for her, she was put to death in 1431.

1492- Columbus proves how lost he really is by landing in the Bahamas,
naming the place San Salvador, and calling the people who live there Indians.

1497-Amerigo Vespucci becomes the 7th or 8th explorer to become the new
world, but the first to think of naming it in honor of himself...the United
States of Vespuccia!

1508-Michelangelo finally agrees to paint the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel, but he still refuses to wash the windows.

1513-Ponce de Leon claims he found the Fountain of youth, but dies of old
age trying to remember where it was he found it.

1522-Scientists, who know the world is flat, conclude that Magellan made
it all the way around by crawling across the bottom.

1568-Saddened over the slander of his good name, Ivan the Terrible kills
another 100,000 peasants to make them stop calling him Ivan the Terrible.

1607-The Indians laugh themselves silly as the first European tourist to
visit Virginia tries to register as "John Smith".

1618-Future Generations are doomed as the English execute Sir Walter
Raleigh, but allow his tobacco plants to live.

1642-Nine students receive the first Bachelor of Arts degrees conferred in
America, and immediately discover there are no jobs open for a kid with a
liberal arts education.

1670-The pilgrims are too busy burning false witches to observe the golden
anniversary of their winning religious freedom.

1755-Samuel Johnson issues the first English Dictionary, at last providing
young children with a book they can look up dirty words in.


1758- New Jersey is chosen as the site of America's first Indian reservation,
which should give Indians an idea of the kind of shabby living conditions
they can expect from here on out.

1763-The French and Indian War ends. The French and Indians both lost.

1770-The shooting of three people in the Boston Massacre touches off the
Revolution. 200 Years later, three shootings in Boston will be considered
just about average for a Saturday Night.

1773-Colonists dump tea into Boston Harbor. British call the act
"barbaric", noting that no one added cream.

1776-Napoleon decides to maintain a position of neutrality in the American
Revolution, primarily because he is only seven years old.

1779-John Paul Jones notifies the British, "I have just begun to fight!"
and then feels pretty foolish when he discovers that his ship is sinking.

1793- "Let them eat cake!" becomes the most famous thing Marie Antoinette
ever said. Also, the least diplomatic thing she ever said. Also, the last thing
she ever said.

1799-Translation of the Rosetta Stone finally enables scholars to learn
that Egyptian hieroglyphics don't say anything important. "Dear Ramses,
How are you? I am fine."

1805-Robert Fulton invents the torpedo.

1807-Robert Fulton invents the steamship so he has something to blow up
with his torpedo.

1815-Post Office policy is established as Andrew Jackson wins the Battle of
New Orleans a month after he should have received the letter telling him the
War of 1812 is over.

1840-William Henry Harrison is elected president in a landslide, proving
that the campaign motto, "Tippecanoe and Tyler too" is so meaningless that very
few can disagree with it.

1850-Henry Clay announces, "I'd rather be right than president," which
gets quite a laugh, coming from a guy who has run for president five times
without winning.

1859- Charles Darwin writes "Origin of the Species". It has the same
general plot as "Planet of the Apes", but fails to gross as much money.

1865-Union Soldiers face their greatest challenge of the war: getting
General Grant sober enough to accept Lee's surrender.

1894-Thomas Edison displays the first motion picture, and everybody likes
it except the movie critics.


1903- The opening of the Trans-Siberian Railway enables passengers from
Moscow to reach Vladivostok in eight days, which is a lot sooner than most of
them want to get there.

1910- The founding of the Boy Scouts of America comes as bad news to old
ladies who would rather cross the street by themselves.

1911-Roald Amundsen discovers the South Pole and confirms what he's
suspected all along: It looks a helluva lot like the North Pole!

1912-People with Reservations for the voyage of the Titanic get their
money back.

1920-The 18th Amendment to the Constitution makes drinking illegal in the
U.S. so everyone stops. Except for the 40 million who don't stop!

1924-Hitler is released from prison four years early, after convincing the
parole board that he is a changed man who won't cause any more trouble.

1928- Herbert Hoover promises "a chicken in every pot and a car in every
garage," but he neglects to add that most Americans will sonn be without
pots and garages.

1930- Pluto is discovered. Not the dog, stupid; the planet. The dog wasn't
discovered until 1938.

1933- German housewives begin to realize why that crazy wallpaper hanger
with the mustache never came back to finish his work.

1933-Hitler establishes the Third Reich, and announces that it will last
for a thousand years. As matters develop, he is only 988 years off.

1934- John Dillinger is gunned down by police as he leaves a Chicago movie
theater. And just to make the evening a complete washout, he didn't enjoy
the movie either.

1934-As if the Great Depression weren't giving businessmen enough
headaches, Ralph Nader is born.

1938-Great Britain and Germany sign a peace treaty, thereby averting all
possibility of WWII.

1944-Hitler's promise of Volkswagens for all Germans as soon as they've
won the war doesn't prove to be as strong an incentive as he had hoped.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:41 PM | Comments (1)

New to the blogroll

I read Mrs. du Toit regularly for a two reasons: she writes incredibly well and she links to other worthy sites/posts. Today was no exception because she linked to Claire Wolfe's blog. Heck, I didn't even know she had a blog. I was a big fan of her "Free Life" articles over at WND and was sorry when she no longer posted over there. Now I can get my fix on a more regular basis. But you want to know what's even better? She's a Firefly fan. Excerpt:

My first thought after finishing the DVDs was that the Fox execs who destroyed Firefly should be slathered with honey then staked out over a red ant's nest. But on second thought, a far better fate would be to make them watch as Firefly catches cult fire and becomes the Star Trek of the 21st century -- but better than ST ever dreamed of being. Let them writhe in the agony of their own incredibly blind decisionmaking.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Maybe the esteemed spousal unit will buy me the series DVD. And I can't wait for Serenity to hit the theaters, probably sometime in 2005. Woo hoo!

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:57 PM | Comments (0)

We're from the government and we're here to help you

Or some other complete bullshit. Insert your own lie here. Anyway, Kim du Toit links to an article by Ron Paul at lewrockwell.com. It turns out the the decennial census required by the Constitution of the USA doesn't provide some government pencil pushers enough information so that they can shove a 2x4 up your ass at their whim help you properly. There's now going to be a YEARLY survey about you: your job, personal habits, what's your favorite Spice Girl, do you prefere Coke or Pepsi, etc.. And they plan on fining people if they don't send it in. You know, an illegal mandatory survey. Let me enter the discussion by offering my own opinion on the matter: bite me, you worthless government hacks. You think that you can enforce my compliance(oh wait, is Janet Reno back in office again?) on this particular issue, you are sadly mistaken. I realize that most people in this country have adopted the attitude that "if they tell me to do it, I guess I have to". I am not so sanguine. Point to me where in the Constitution it requires me to aquiesce to your demand. Can't do it? Then fuck off.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:21 PM | Comments (1)

Required reading

I don't read the S-Train as often as I should. Case in point is this post. Excerpt:

I know why Quincy walked away. He was getting teary eyed. Just like me. I felt another weight lift off my shoulders during our brief conversation. We fought many times back in the day. Cut each other up real bad. And kept coming back for more. We were insane. Bloodthirsty. And here we are now; two thirty-something black men with families living the right way. Knowing what we did to each other in the past and meeting like that without the hate and anger was just too much. Folks, ain't no shame in my game. I cried like a baby in T-Steel's SUV. Couldn't stop crying. Didn't want to stop. Had to cry. Had to get it out. And my friend and road dawg T-Steel just driving and not consoling me. Just being there and letting me get it out. Cause I didn't need any consoling. I just needed a good friend to just drive and let me deal with it.

Looking back, I think I cried for all the people I hurt. My friends, enemies, and myself. And I think I cried tears of joy, too. Joy in that I'm alive and doing the right thing. Didn't think I had that much pent up emotion in me still. But I feel better now. Something about seeing and talking with an "enemy" that gave my soul a shake. A positive shake.

I can't think of anything useful to add. Link found via the Inoperable Terran.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:11 PM | Comments (0)

But doctor, I came in to have a hangnail removed

All men flinch when they see another guy get crunched in the groin; it's hardwired into their psyche. Imagine their reaction to this story. Ugh. Very feeble thanks to Jonah for the link.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

The sun goes down? It's Bush's fault

At least, that seems to be the common sentiment among the drooling idiots. Example #1 is Courtney Love:

Despite everything, Love believes her predicament is the result of a coordinated financial, legal and personal smear campaign. In a recent interview with London's Sunday Telegraph, she was asked if she bears any responsibility for her current problems.

"The last thing I want to say is, 'I'm a victim', but I am. I believe it's a trickledown from Bush ... I should have done an audit. I should have done face-time with people. That is true. But did I bring it on myself? I don't think so."

And I believe that you're Britney Spears, the Last Generation.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:30 PM | Comments (0)

Help, help, I'm being repressed!

At least, I'm sure that's how some loonies will spin this story. It's a little disappointing because I'm a huge Linda Ronstadt fan. However, I had an inkling she was wingnut back when she dated Governor Moonbeam Brown of California. It's good to see that the general public isn't taking this sort of crap lying down anymore. Excerpt:

Singer Linda Ronstadt was thrown out of the Aladdin casino in Las Vegas on the weekend after dedicating a song to liberal film maker Michael Moore and his movie "Fahrenheit 9/11," a casino spokeswoman said on Monday.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:52 PM | Comments (1)

Well, it's better than my excuses...

Looks like Graumagus has finally posted an explanation from his complete lack of Alliance homework lately. Excerpt:

Susie: "Have you had any weird dreams lately?"

Me: "Well there's the one with Alysson Hannigan and me in a tub filled with haggis...."

It's good to see someone even more demented and twisted than me.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:43 PM | Comments (0)

July 19, 2004

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

A Michael Moore supporter bought two horses, and could never
remember which was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that
worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.

It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and
our Michael Moore supporter was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear of one horse.

That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed
wire fence.

Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height.

When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse
was 2 inches taller than the black one.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)

Required reading

Orson Scott Card keeps churning thoughtful, well-written columns. Excerpt:


How stupid are Americans?

I think the answer is:
As dumb as we wanna be.

Twelve years ago, Bill Clinton realized he couldn't get a majority to vote for him as a Democrat. So he pretended to be a Republican. He co-opted the Republican position on practically every issue. He left poor President Bush, Sr., with nothing to say except "me too."

And Bush was the incumbent.

Clinton's message back then was: Bush is a complete failure, and I'm going to make everything better by following exactly the same policies.

...

And Kerry is stealing a page from the Clinton election handbook by focusing on the exact issue where the Republicans have him beaten.

He's not pulling a Howard Dean and raving about pulling our troops out.

No, he's talking like Clinton: Bush has done a terrible, terrible job. Elect me and I'll do a lot better with this war on terror. And you know how I'll do it?

By doing every single thing that President Bush has done. Only I would have done it sooner and better.

Read the whole thing.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:15 PM | Comments (0)

A retirement plan for the rest of us

If you bought $1000 of Nortel stock a year ago, it would now be worth
$49.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5 left.

Now, if you bought $1,000 worth of Coors Light (the beer, not the
stock) over the past year, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans
for the aluminum recycling price, you would have $214.

Based on these figures, my current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle! This is my new retirement program. I call it my
401Keg.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:30 PM | Comments (0)

No one under 17 admitted without a guardian

Blame Harvey for me posting more quiz results: he linked to the quiz. although he tries to blame LeAnn for it. Bad Harvey! Anyway, here's the rating for my life:


My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:08 PM | Comments (2)

Mark Steyn vs. Joe Wilson

And the results are predictable. Excerpt:

In his ludicrously vain memoir The Politics Of Truth, Wilson plays up his knowledge of the country. He makes much of his intimacy with Wanke and gives himself the credit for ridding Niger of the Wanke regime. The question then is why a man who knew so much about what was going on chose deliberately to misrepresent it to all his media/ Democrat buddies, not to mention to the American people. For a book called The Politics Of Truth, it's remarkably short of it. On page 2, Wilson says of his trip to Niger: "I had found nothing to substantiate the rumors." But he had.

That's what lying is, by the way: intentional deceit, not unreliable intelligence. And I'm not usually the sort to bandy the liar-liar-pants-on-fire charge beloved by so many in our politics today, but I'll make an exception in the case of Wilson, who's never been shy about the term. He called Bush a "liar" and he called Cheney a "lying sonofabitch," on stage at a John Kerry rally in Iowa.

Saddam wanted yellowcake for one reason: to strike at his neighbors in the region, and beyond that at Britain, America and his other enemies. In other words, he wanted the uranium in order to kill you.

The obvious explanation for Wilson's deceit about what he found in Africa is that his hatred of Bush outweighed everything else*. Or as the novelist and Internet maestro Roger L. Simon put it, "He is a deeply evil human being willing to lie and obfuscate for temporary political gain about a homicidal dictator's search for weapons-grade uranium."

Technically, it's weaponizable uranium, not "weapons grade." But that's the point. Simon isn't the expert, and, as Ambassador Wilson trumpets loudly and often, he is. This isn't a case of another Michael Moore, court buffoon to the Senate Democrats, or Whoopi Goldberg, has-been potty-mouth to John Kerry. They're in show biz; what do they know?

But Wilson does know; he went there, he talked to officials, and he lied about America's national security in order to be the anti-Bush crowd's Playmate of the Month. Either he's profoundly wicked or he's as deranged as that woman on the Paris Metro last week who falsely claimed to have been the victim of an anti-Semitic attack. The Paris crazy was unmasked within a few days, but the Niger crazy was lionized for a full year.

* And there it is in a nutshell: lying, fabrications and distortions are the name of the game when it comes to defeating Bush. I'd say that the Left should be ashamed, but they consistently shown that they have no shame. Nothing they do is wrong as long as it serves the higher purpose of winning the election. People on right side of the political spectrum would be well served to remember this. To defeat your opponent, you must first understand him; I understand the other side all too well. Conservatives/Libertarians/ non-deranged Democrats(and there are still many, despite the party's embrace of the Michael Moore-DU wingnuts) need to know that the other side's idea of playing fair means that they win. Always. Remember that.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:44 PM | Comments (1)

Mr. Jaws, 2004

"He's coming on to the boat! Mr. Jaws, why are you grabbing my hand?"

"Wouldn't you give your hand to a friend?"

"Wait a minute, that's not how this record is supposed to end..."

If you're too young to know what I'm talking about, don't tell me.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:19 PM | Comments (1)

July 16, 2004

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

Two Michael Moore supporters and a brunette were walking down the beach when a seagull dumps a load on one of the Michael Moore supporters. The brunette says "I'll go and get some toilet paper. " When she left, one Michael Moore supporter turns to the other one and says "Boy,is she ever stupid. By the time she gets back, that seagull will be miles away."

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:19 PM | Comments (1)

Looking for a fun date?

Then you might want to ask this girl out. You might not want to be eating much, though.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:37 PM | Comments (2)

Help me, I'm sick

So being overweight is now classified as an illness, which means our freaking tax dollars will be spent on "curing" people. Okay, I have to say it: bull and shit. If I catch the flu, that's an illness. My grandmother died from cancer, which is known in some circles as a disease. My sister suffers from an autoimmune disorder, which means that she's sick pretty much full-time. In the last 2 years, I gained 20 pounds. Did that mean I was sick? Am I taking antibiotics to help me? Will drinking chicken soup cure me? Of course not, because I'M F**CKING FAT!!!. Ohmigod! What can I do if the government won't spend money on my treatment? I'll tell you what: I've restricted my caloric intake and started running again after a 2-1/2 year layoff. I'm down 11 pounds and counting. Overeating is not a disease. It's a bad habit or a lack of will, sometimes both. Fuck. I'm absolutely sick of crybabies whining that they aren't responsible for their own actions. Useless pissants.

I'll offer one caveat: 10 years ago a friend of mine(about 100 pounds overweight) was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. His doctor told him that if he continued taking the supplement and didn't change his eating habits, he'd lose about 1 poung a month. So yes, there is some small, insignificant portion of the population that actually have diseases that can contribute to their obesity. Eating like a pig doesn't qualify as one of those illnesses.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:37 PM | Comments (2)

That's going to leave a mark

Attention smokers: methane is flammable. That is all.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:20 PM | Comments (0)

July 15, 2004

An idea whose time has come

Looks like some of our legislators have decided to act as they can and should. Excerpt:

A Federal Marriage Amendment to the Constitution was blocked in the Senate Wednesday, although supporters said it was needed to stop federal courts from ruling DOMA unconstitutional.

But Indiana Congressman John Hostettler (HOH'-stet-lur) notes that the Constitution gives Congress the power to remove issues -- in this case, challenges to DOMA -- from federal courts' jurisdiction. The full House is expected to consider his bill next week.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:53 PM | Comments (0)

Peggy Noonan clarifies her position

Well, this article expalined somewhat the position taken in this one, which had some of us scratching our heads. Take Mike's response in his Issue Table:

Issue: Kerry for President

Dem/Left position: Kaus, Noonan, and others say we ought to elect Kerry because Americans “need a breather” from WoT
*shocked silence*

Bush/Right position: ....is this some kind of joke?

Result/The trouble for the left is: Yet to be seen, but if this idea takes hold we might as well take our marbles, go home, and go ahead and build a damned fence around the continental US and quiver behind it from now on; get back to me when al Qaeda declares a “vacation” ceasefire; I don’t recollect any “breathers” during WW2, either; suck it up and grow a pair, for Christ’s sake

I have to say that if the general electorate chooses John Kerry because they think that emulating an ostrich(yes, I know that they don't really hide their heads in the sand) will be better for them, well, we're all screwed. Indolence and stupidity are no way for a country to survive. Go check your history books if you're not convinced. Make sure that it's a book written more than 20 years ago, though. You know why.

Update: The Puppy Blender posts an excellent email from Austin Beay with a followup from Rick Richman. Excerpt:

If they know that Bush will be there for four more years, with a mandate from the American people (earned after a campaign of unprecedented personal and political vilification by those who opposed the liberation of Iraq), decisions in Syria, Iran, North Korea and other places (including France and Germany) are going to be different.

Conversely, if the American electorate can be convinced to remove the commander-in-chief of the war on terror, to be replaced by the Education President, the Environmental President, etc. and his Two Americas vice-president, all of these other state actors will make decisions in a very different direction. They will perhaps not be able to see the subtety of a "breather" and "time out" and may mistake it for what it may in fact turn out to be: a surrender (except, of course, for the continuation of our 9/10 law enforcement and intelligence activities).

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:45 PM | Comments (0)

It's not like he wasn't punished enough

A guy in London accidentally shoots off his own testicles with a shotgun. The kicker? He's getting 5 years in jail for illegally posessing a firearm. Effing British wanker laws.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:46 PM | Comments (2)

I'm a big loser!

Yes you are. Thanks to A_SDF for the link.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:35 PM | Comments (2)

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and
approaches the Michael Moore supporter driving. "Ma'am, is
there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?

The mindless idiot replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!!
I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in
front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in
front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree
in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the
officer replied, "Ma'am ... that's your air freshener."

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:15 AM | Comments (1)

Crawling up the blogolutionary ladder

Harvey posted a pretty article detailing how a lowly blogger like him such as myself can increase his/her traffic. I used to check my hits via Sitemeter daily to see how things were working out for me. At about 6 months, my traffic averaged over 100 hits/day. Then Google decided to stop searching sites with the word "blog" in the its title. Granted, Google-whoring wasn't really at the top of my list for traffic, but it seemed better than nothing. I haven't given in to the temptation to mention P@ris H!lton or n@ked Olsen Tw!ns in my posts because I don't really need or want that kind of traffic. I occassionally ping other sites; I leave comments when the mood strikes me, especially if it's someone with whom I've developed a bloggy relationship. Some of the linkfests bore me, though. I don't think many of my posts are Carnival worthy and I have way too many sucky posts to bother submitting to the Bonfire. I do try and keep up with my Alliance homework. Life does come first, though, and the upcoming blessed event #2 in my household is likely to put a bigger crimp into my blogging. So be it.

You're probably asking yourself, "Does this guy actually not want traffic?" Of course I do. If I posted and I was the only one ever reading my stuff, well, there's a word for that sort of thing: masturbation. So I post what I want, linking to odd news bits that I stumble onto, creating massive linky love posts when I have time to cruise around the blogiverse and posting horrid old jokes that were rotting and smelly when Rome fell. Mainly, I post what I like. Sometimes, other people like it, too. Hopefully over time, more people will read my stuff. I have enough of an ego that I want to attract readers, but enough humility to realize that my audience is destined to be limited. And I'm okay with that. The readers I have are appreciated greatly.

One final note: Harvey makes a good point about surfing via your blogroll. Do it. That is all.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:38 AM | Comments (3)

July 14, 2004

Our government at work

Found this in my INBOX recently and decided to ruin a few days with some humor that's made horrifying due to the fact that I can actually envision something like this happening. Why yes, I AM a bit cynical about our elected officials these days.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Government Accidentally Begins 'War On Rugs'
Considered The Worst Typo of the Century

WASHINGTON: Blamed on 'a careless typo', the Bush
Administration is trying to find a way to explain the
$150 billion spent this year on efforts to fight the
'War on Rugs'.

The offending act, which was passed last February,
was brought into public spotlight after angry citizens
filed a class action suit against the United States
Government -- for seizing and destroying almost 800,000
rugs nationwide.

Asa Hutchinson, director of the Drug Enforcement
Agency, whose agency the money was initially intended
to benefit, called this a 'travesty':

"We were seeing vast improvements throughout
2004, and were looking forward to a really
productive year in 2005. Unfortunately this
was all cut short by our funding being diverted
to this ridiculous Rug Enforcement Agency.
This is a travesty -- The war on drugs is not
a joke!"

President Bush held a press conference this
Monday in which he addressed the issue.

"I apologize to the American People, for
putting them through this time of hardship, and
for needlessly destroying so many rugs. I apologize
to the thousands of Persian nationals who were exported
or put in concentration camps. I apologize to Young
People, who were subjected to Rug Awareness Programs
about the dangers of Rug Abuse, and for the billions
of dollars spent on constructing Rug Rehabilitation
Centers."

"Unfortunately it may take a few months for this
funding to be curtailed," he added. "The American
People will have to bear this burden and accept that
enforcement officers have rules to follow."

Jess Bravin, legal analyst for the Wall Street
Journal, called this a "load of bullhonkey".

Meanwhile, Amnesty International, an organization
of bleeding-heart idealistic rich kids who never saw
an hour of real work in their entire lives, has called
for an injunction in accordance with the Warsaw Pact
to stop 'the murder of innocent rugs'. Bravin's
comment on this is unpublishable.

Posted by Physics Geek at 12:59 PM | Comments (2)

July 13, 2004

Wictory Wednesday

The Democrats used to be a proud party that stood up for what they saw as the right thing. I disagreed with them on what the right thing was a lot of the time, but by and large the disagreements were cordial. No more, though. Now, it seems that the majority of Democrats have lurched so far to the Left that the fevered imaginings of Michael Moore have become the talking points for the party. We on the right have done a pretty good job distancing ourselves from the wackos that reside in our end of the political spectrum. Until and unless the Democrats as a party decide to do the same, the party of Truman cannot be trusted with sharp objects. Let's face it: do you want to trust someone that has a link to the Democratic Underground hompeage? I sure as heck wouldn't trust someone that linked to Stormfront.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)

A Jinx ?

A man was walking across the road when he met the accident. The impact
was on his head which caused him to be comatosed for two days before he
finally regained consciousness. When open his eyes, his wife was there
beside him.

He held her hands and said meaningfully : "You have always been beside
me. When I was a struggling university student, I failed again and again.
And sometimes, even my re-papers as well. You were always there beside me,
encouraging me to go on trying.."

She squeezed his hands as he continued :"When I went for all the major
interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside
me, cutting out more adverts for me to apply..."

He continued "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got
to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And
you were there beside me."

Then I finally got another job after being laid off for sometime. But I
never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised. As
such, I remained in the same position from the day I join the company till
now...And you were there beside me."

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband :"And now I
met an accident and when I woke up, you are here beside me....
....There's something I'd really like to say to you..."

She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband, and sobbing with
emotion.

He said..., " I think you really bring me bad luck.."

Posted by Physics Geek at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

July 12, 2004

Literary critique

Received the following from somebody, somewhere, sometime:

The Cat in the Hat Critique

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95

The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetry in which
the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes and bold imagery of
some of his earlier works, most notably Green Eggs and Ham, If I Ran the
Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower With Mommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel,
writing under the pseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr.
Sigmund Freud in a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two
young children understand their own frustrated sexuality.

The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned
by their mother, staring mournfully through the window of their
single-family dwelling. In the foreground, a large tree/phallic symbol
dances wildly in the wind, taunting the children and encouraging them to
succumb to the sexual yearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other.
Even to the most unlearned reader, the blatant references to the
incestuous relationship the two share set the tone for Seuss's probing
examination of the satisfaction of primitive needs. The Cat proceeds to
charm the wary youths into engaging in what he so innocently refers to
as "tricks." At this point, the fish, an obvious Christ figure who
represents the prevailing Christian morality, attempts to warn the
children, and thus, in effect, warns all of humanity of the dangers
associated with the unleashing of the primal urges. In response to this,
the cat proceeds to balance the aquatic naysayer on the end of his
umbrella, essentially saying, "Down with morality; down with God!"

After poohpoohing the righteous rantings of the waterlogged Christ
figure, the Cat begins to juggle several icons of Western culture, most
notably two books, representing the Old and New Testaments, and a saucer
of lactal fluid, an ironic reference to maternal loss the two children
experienced when their mother abandoned them "for the afternoon." Our
heroic Id adds to this bold gesture a rake and a toy man, and thus
completes the Oedipal triangle.

Later in the novel, Seuss introduces the proverbial Pandora's box, a
large red crate out of which the Id releases Thing One, or Freud's
concept of Ego, the division of the psyche that serves as the conscious
mediator between the person and reality, and Thing Two, the Superego
which functions to reward and punish through a system of moral
attitudes, conscience, and guilt. Referring to this box, the Cat says,
"Now look at this trick. Take a look!" In this, Dr. Seuss uses the
children as a brilliant metaphor for the reader, and asks the reader to
re-examine his own inner self.

The children, unable to control the Id, Ego, and Superego allow these
creatures to run free and mess up the house, or more symbolically,
control their lives. This rampage continues until the fish, or Christ
symbol, warns that the mother is returning to reinstate the Oedipal
triangle that existed before her abandonment of the children. At this
point, Seuss introduces a many-armed cleaning device which represents
the psychoanalytic couch, which proceeds to put the two youngsters'
lives back in order.

With powerful simplicity, clarity, and drama, Seuss reduces Freud's
concepts on the dynamics of the human psyche to an easily understood
gesture. Mr. Seuss' poetry and choice of words is equally impressive and
serves as a splendid counterpart to his bold symbolism. In all, his
writing style is quick and fluid, making _The Cat in the Hat_ impossible
to put down. While this novel is 61 pages in length, and one can read it
in five minutes or less, it is not until after multiple readings that
the genius of this modern day master becomes apparent.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:38 PM | Comments (4)

And the book is finally closed

Rachel Lucas has changed her mind yet again and has decided to put a stake through her blog's heart. I, for one, will miss her rants. Good luck Rachel. And I'm not taking you off of my blogroll yet.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:38 PM | Comments (0)

Monday stuff

Some things you just can't explain, and God knows that this is one of them. Curses to Neal Boortz for linking to this thing.

Now for a mental palate cleanser: the 100 worst porn movie titles. Excerpt:

1) GROSS - these are disgusting titles that should turn you off completely :

1. THE ANAL GIRLS OF TOBACCO ROAD 2 : VAGINA SLIMES - The title that started me on this list. "Virginia Slims" becomes "Vagina Slimes" ? That's disgusting ! You get the idea.
2. LET'S PLAY STAIN THE COUCH - And then invite all our friends over and watch them try to guess what that smell is !
3. CRACK WHORES OF AMERICA - Because nothing turns a guy on more than needle tracks and missing teeth ...

Read the rest if you're a degenerate like me.

Lakers consider replacement for Shaq.

President Clinton's portrait will be unveiled soon. The guys at Fark make some guesses as to what it will look like.

No surprises here, although no word yet on whether or not Ron will bother to mention that the biggest advances so far come from ADULT stem cell research. My guess is no.

A lesbian action figure doll from a toy series called DYKEdolls. And no, I'm not making this up.

In better doll news, an injured seagull now has a prosthetic Barbie leg.

So President Bush's opposition to gay marriage is creating a backlash that might hurt his presidency. Funny how the article doesn't mention that Kerry and Edwards oppose gay marriage as well.

This story has a happy ending. However, I want to beat the asshole who dropped a kitten into the ocean 3 miles off of the Tampa coast.
Maggie Roberts holds Nemo after being rescued from  Homosassa Bay, three miles east of Tampa, on Saturday, July 3, 2004. Roberts was out with her husband when they spotted nine-inch Nemo paddling furiously and screaming at the top of his lungs. Nemo was adopted by Rogers' sister-in-law. (AP Photo/Clearwater Marine Aquarium, HO)
Update: John Cole links to the actual story and he expresses himself a little more forcefully:
I am generally against the death penalty, but in crueltyto animal cases, I think it is justified. How someone could dump this fellow in the ocean is beyond me. Scum.

Ancient spraypaint discovered?

Britney Spears, twenty years from now. I'm just saying, is all.

Great. Now the best alternative to IE has security flaws. Opera, anyone?
Update: Harvey just linked to Mozilla's fix page. Funny how THEY can find and their security holes in a matter of hours.

Embrace the Penguin. Now.

"...many experts agree that burning calories is a good way to maintain healthy weight." No shit. Come see our upcoming documentary entitled, "Water Is Wet, and other surprises".

I guess that the guy in this story doesn't even bat an eye when someone calls him a dickhead.

So Ronald McDonald became a vegetarian? Or is crack really, really cheap in Oslo, Norway?

A 32-year-old man raised by chickens. Sounds like the topic for Michael Moore's next movie. At least that movie would be factual. The story does remind me a bit of this one, though.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:50 PM | Comments (1)

July 09, 2004

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

A rather attractive Michael Moore supporter went to a doctors office and said, "You have to help me, I hurt all over!!"

"What do you mean all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "ouch! that hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "ow, even that hurts." she cried.

The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a true believer in all the things that Michael Moore says?"

"Why, yes." she replied.

"I thought so," the doctor said, "you have a broken finger."

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:47 PM | Comments (1)

Old news

Jokes have been written on the topic of this story for a long time. As I tell people often, proof-reading is a lost art. And yes, I realize that I have typos in my post. Deal with it. Excerpt:

Will defusing a bomb necessarily diffuse the situation? Is it correct to pedal a bicycle or pedal ideas?

According to the editors of the new Concise Oxford Dictionary, up to half of us do not know the answers.

As part of compiling the 11th edition of the reference book, which is out today, researchers discovered an increasing confusion over simple words and phrases.

And now the joke:

SPELL CHECKER:
Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea every wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:05 PM | Comments (0)

Good advice?

With the divorce rate at 50 percent, lifelong wedded bliss is far from
guaranteed for married couples. Here are some tips to help keep
the flame of love burning years after that walk down the aisle.

-Be sure to thank your spouse whenever they do something nice,
even if it's something as small as taking it up the ass.

-The best way to ensure a long-lasting marriage is to keep your
individual needs out of it.

-Treat your partner with respect. Don't hit him/her in front of
relatives.

-A good relationship leaves room for outside interests. Be
supportive of your spouse's rough-sex-with-the-mailman hobby.

-Cranking out another child is a great way to bring you and your
spouse closer together.

-Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and scream at each other for
24 hours, 36 hours--however long it takes.

-Always speak to spouse in soothing, patronizing tones.

-Take out your marital problems on your young children.

-Communication is the key to a good marriage. Be sure your
spouse knows every last little thing you hate about him/her.

-Sit down with your spouse and work out a diet that will allow you
to get big and fat together.

-If your marriage is truly in jeopardy, stay in touch with your phone
psychic at all times.

-Countless conflicts can be avoided by walking out on your family
for years at a time.

-In a two-job household, both careers need to be considered, even
if one is some silly little woman endeavor.

-One common myth states that hitting is no way to solve a marital
dispute, but studies show that this is not always the case.

-If you sense that your marriage is growing stale, accept it and live
out the remainder of your days in unfulfilled misery and despair.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:44 PM | Comments (1)

The most important ballot you'll cast this year today

I have to admit that it was the second photo of the Bush twins that pushed me over the top; the first one made them look, um, not good. Go check out the photos at The American Mind and then head over to Kevin's to vote.

And to answer your question: yes, I might have some perverted desire for twins, but I would never let THAT influence my vote. So far as you know.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:21 PM | Comments (0)

New national holiday

Or something. Go congratulate Frank: he's been blogging for 2 years now. Here's hoping for many more (free) humorous posts.

Update: Harvey mentioned ice cream in the comments to this post. That reminds me of this idea which everyone can do to celebrate IMAO's 2nd anniversary: ice cream in a bag. Excerpt:

What You Need

1 tablespoon Sugar
1/2 cup Milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon Vanilla
6 tablespoons Rock salt
1 pint-size Ziploc plastic bag
1 gallon-size Ziploc plastic bag
Ice cubes

How To Make It

Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag.
Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it.
Place the small bag inside the large one and seal again carefully.
Shake until mixture is ice cream, about 5 minutes.

Now everyone can toast Frank with homemade ice cream. You might consider adding nuts to the mixture for Frank because, well, it seems appropriate, if you catch my drift.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:42 PM | Comments (2)

Things that make you hmm...

Over at A Little More To The Right, Jeff posted a short quiz designed to assess one's knowledge of world terrorism. Wow, I feel my eyes see clearly for the first time. < /sarcasm>

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:03 PM | Comments (0)

New to the blogroll

Have you ever read someone's blog regularly for a while and then FINALLY noticed that he/she was actually on your blogroll? No? Why does this only happen to me? Anyway, the Queen of All Evil is now a permanent fixture on the sidebar. And don't ask why she wasn't there before; I don't know. Here's a post by T-Steel that she linked to. Some serious asskicking and name-taking to wade through. Ecerpt:

Call me whatever you want to call me. Racist. Off-base. Un-American. Doesn't change the fact that Democrats are sneaky, manipulative bastards that use and abuse black folks and other minorities in plain view of the nation. I hate Republicans. But I really, really hate Democrats.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:38 PM | Comments (3)

Howler of the day

Check out the title of this post by Bill Press: Kerry presidency off to strong start. Chutzpah, thy name is Bill Press. Truthfully though, it's not as ridiculous as the headlines proclaiming "The Clinton Recovery" a couple of days after the 1992 election, while Bush the elder was still president. And I'm certain that if John Effing Kerry wins this November that CBS/NBC/ABC/CNN/et al will be touting the numbers found in this report from the Heritage Foundation.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:45 PM | Comments (0)

Air to remain free

For a nominal fee, of course. Sound absurd? Maybe, but let me know when you find something that policiticians will NEVER try to tax. Like parking in front of your own house.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:31 PM | Comments (0)

No, we're really not anti-Israel

Still more evidence that anti-Semites Incorporated the International Court of Bullshit Justice deserves to be ignored. Excerpt:

The International Court of Justice will rule this afternoon that Israel's security fence, which is credited with keeping suicide bombers out, violates international law, and that it must be dismantled, according to an Israeli official who obtained advanced copies of the ruling.

Here's the response that I'd like to see from Israel:

"We reviewed the ruling from this collection of asshats the members of this court and we respectfully disagree. Please see our enclosed response. You will notice in the photograph that we're all mooning you while simultaneously giving you the finger. Should you be inclined to try and force our compliance, be advised that our soldiers have been warned to shoot any blue-helmeted individuals on sight. Also, I would like to remind you that the half-life of U-235 is really, really long. It would be a shame if the Hague became unihabitable for the 10,000 years.

Fuck off and die Respectfully yours,

The People of Israel

Update: It appears that the United Nations is also recommending that Israel divest itself of nukes to increase regional stability. I kind of think that the letter above needs to be adjusted as follows:

"...we're all mooning you and farting in your general direction while simultaneously giving you the finger."

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:01 PM | Comments (2)

July 08, 2004

American Beer Month

July is American Beer Month. Excerpt:

July is American Beer Month, a time when every American should celebrate the season by exploring the wonderful flavors of American Beer. No matter what kind of beer you like, there’s one that’s perfect for your tastes that’s made in America.

So go celebrate already. And for you religious types(I include myself here), some churches in northern Illinois will be "mixing Bibles and beer in the coming weeks." Hallelujah.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:01 PM | Comments (6)

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

No comments required for this story.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:59 PM | Comments (0)

I think I want a second opinion

Feeling unwell? Does something hurt? Then you should head over to Cambodia to receive treatment from the healer in this story. Imagine the office visit:

"Doctor, my leg hurts."

Moo.

"No, not there. Just below the knee."

Mooo. ::lick-lick-lick:

"Thanks. I feel so much better."

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:28 PM | Comments (2)

Lileks is a national treasure

If you're not reading The Bleat regularly, shame on you. You'll miss columns such as this one wherein the Bloated Pustule from Davison, MI, gets crushed under a pile of logic and facts. And without using a single obscenity. I have to figure out how he manages to accomplish THAT on a regular basis. Anyway, here's an excerpt:

Again with the crushed rights. It’s a standard trope, a talisman worn smooth with obsessive rubbing, and people of Moore’s stripe won’t let it go until the Patriot act is rescinded and we can go back to the good old days of petitioning judges for separate wiretaps for a suspected terrorists’s individual cell phones and land lines. Fine. But let’s talk about the rights and freedoms we’ve crushed abroad. Leave aside Western Europe, which is still reeling from the decision by the Bush adminstration to use Warthogs to strafe all those street protests. Two questions:

Afghanistan had more / less freedoms under the Taliban

Iraq had more / less freedoms under Saddam

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:44 PM | Comments (0)

Bush lied! I mean, Abu Ghraib!

Well, I wonder how Katie Couric/Tom Brokaw/Dan Rather/Moore-ons will spin this one. Money quote:

A UK government inquiry into the intelligence used to justify the war in Iraq is expected to conclude that Britain's spies were correct to say that Saddam Hussein's regime sought to buy uranium from Niger.

The silence will be deafening. Thanks to Professor Hewitt for the link.

Update: Ace offers some insights. Excerpt:

Right now, my sources* inform me that the mainstream media is about to report this nonstop for three weeks, just the way they reported (falsely) that Bush lied in stating these facts.
...
* My "sources" consist of:

1) "Smitty," a 77-year-old shut-in suffering from chronic schizophrenic dementia, and

2) his best friend, a foul-mouthed, time-travelling bologna sandwich named "Johnny Coldcuts," who speaks to him in nonstop vulgarities and enigmatic riddles about the future.

Update #2: James Joyner links to an article by Will Collier exposing a completely risible statement by the Democrat nominee for President. Eesh. Back in 2000, I thought the Dem's had hit the bottom of the barrel. I guess I should have looked UNDER the barrel.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:00 PM | Comments (1)

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

Three Michael Moore supporters are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, folks, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first Michael Moore supporter.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second Michael Moore supporter, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three Michael Moore supporterd started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second Michael Moore supporter said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:42 PM | Comments (4)

July 07, 2004

Revised blonde Michael Moore supporter joke

Everyone is aware of the dumb blonde stereotype. They're supposed to be mindless idiots, dimly aware of the world around them and challenged by the simplest of facts, such as water being wet. It occurs to me that this is a pretty good description of Michael Moore's followers and that I can adapt pretty much any blonde joke in existence to ridicule the Moore-ons instead. On with joke #1:

A Michael Moore supporter gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as he boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, he started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.

He sort of forgets where he is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts 'BE SILENT!'.

There was pin-drop silence every where and everybody is looking at the Michael Moore supporter and the angry Pilot. He stared at the pilot in silence for a moment and all of a sudden started shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:43 PM | Comments (2)

You are not allowed to have that opinion

Dean links to a story that gave me a RCOB moment. Excerpt:

The following essay was written by a second grader at a public school in suburban Wilmington Delaware this past May. It was read by the student in front of the class. After it was read, the teacher - who has been teaching for a very long time - said the following: “If you ever write anything like that again you are going straight to the principal’s office.”
...
The parent of the second grader brought the matter up to the teacher. She turned to the student and berated him for telling his parents about the incident. The parent also brought the matter up to the school principal, who has ignored the issue by saying that she has no way of contacting the teacher during Summer vacation.

I swear that if something like this happens to my child, the "teacher" in question will be picking up teeth. Another fine example from our publik skulz.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:35 PM | Comments (0)

Wictory Wednesday

So the field is set for this year's presidential election: Bush-Cheney vs. Kerry-Edwards. It reminds me of the Dan Quayle choice, except for the fact that Quayle was far more qualified and experienced than Edwards. In any event, the debates should be lively this fall. More to the point, SNL will have a field day. I'm looking forward to it.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:27 PM | Comments (0)

Politicians lie? Get out!

Megan McCardle posted an exceptionally fine rant yesterday concerning Michael Moore and the latest fad in debating techniques: "He/she lied! Anything I do can now be justified, including telling lies myself, because he/she lied!" Well put. Also, be sure to check out the debate in the comments section. Quite entertaining. Go there. Now.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)

New PGH assignment

Once again it's time for another installment of everyone's favorite show, "My jokes suck the big one!" Okay, it's actually a Precision Guided Humor Assignment: If Michael Moore had a theme song, what would it be? This was a tough one until I started visualing some old MTV videos. Yes, it's true: MTV actually stands for Music Television and they used to broadcast videos instead whatever they show now. In any event, Men Without Talent Hats popped into my head and I started thinking of their one video of note for The Safety Dance. Truthfully, it might have been their one video ever. Anyway, the dwarf dancing around in the background reminded me of Michael Moore. That is, if Michael Moore were to immediately lose 500 pounds and got stuck in the gravitational field of a neutron star. So new lyrics started working their way around my brain. I'm sorry to report that they aren't family friendly, but that's the way it works out sometime. So here are the lyrics for Michael Moore's theme song, Bullshit Lies.

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!

[Spoken]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie

[Sung]
We can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can lie when we want to
In fact I do it all the time
And we can act like we drank the Kool-Aid
And stick our heads up our behinds
And we can lie
Lie-|yay!

We can lie when we want to
My movie sucks and so do I
And we can wear asshats from our heads to our feet
And surprise 'em with our demented cry(YEEAARRGGGHHH!)
Say, we can lie if want to
If fact we always probably willl
And you can act like a big fat jerk
And I can act like an imbecile

[Refrain]
I say, we can lie, we can lie
Big media is under our control
We can lie, we can lie
We're trying to affect the polls
We can lie, we can lie
About everything across the land
We can lie, we can lie
Everybody tellin' a li-i-iee

Bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie
Is it a bullshit lie

B-b-b-b U-u-u-u L-l-l-l S-s-s-s H-h-h-h I-i-i-i T-t-t-t
Bullshit, lies!

We can lie if we want to
We've got control of all their minds
Then I'm bettin', it's gonna affect the election
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can lie if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't lie and if they don't lie
Well they're no friends of mine

[Refrain]

Is it bullshit lies, oh is it bullshit lies [6x]
Is it bullshit lies

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:02 PM | Comments (4)

Global waming is caused by...

The sun, of course. No shit.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:43 PM | Comments (3)

Nothing to see here...

Thanks to James Taranto for pointing this little article out to me. It contains cognitive dissonance on a heretofore undreamed of scale. Excerpt:

"Terrorist" groups were seeking to acquire the warheads containing mustard or sarin gas which Polish troops recently discovered in Iraq, the head of Poland's military intelligence servicesaid on Friday.
...
No weapons of mass destruction have yet been found in Iraq, seriously undermining what was the central argument for the United States and Britain for launching their invasion of the country in March 2003.

Huh? Methinks that this newspaper needs better editors.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:36 PM | Comments (0)

July 06, 2004

Updated standings

I just checked my Dead Pool roster and noticed something: I had forgotten that I picked Marlon Brando. I'm no longer in last place, but rather am tied for 32nd place.

Posted by Physics Geek at 09:32 PM | Comments (0)

And the WaPo goes down for the count

Michelle Malkin in a cage match against the Washington Post. Bird cage liner takes a horrific beating.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:49 PM | Comments (0)

Adopt a pet

All my pets were either aquired from animal shelters or adopted as strays. If you want to get a kitten or puppy for your house, please consider giving a good home to rescued animals. In keeping with the theme of this post, I give you the following picture:

A volunteer holds an armful of kittens available for adoption at the Seattle Animal Shelter, Thursday, July 1, 2004. A warm winter has rained cats and dogs on area animal shelters. The mild weather has meant more litters and fewer deaths among unwanted animals, cats especially, and some shelters say they're flooded with kittens. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:58 PM | Comments (1)

An idea whose time has come

Maybe Michael Moore and a horde of wolverines can learn to coexist in the same habitat. Hey, it MIGHT work. I'm certain that PETA members will be among the first volunteers.
A piglet sleeps on a tiger

I wonder if the tiger is dreaming of BLT's?

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:52 PM | Comments (0)

When Hollywood and physics collide

The results can be pretty ugly. Ever watch a movie and mumble "Oh, please!" at some over-the-top impossible action sequence? I'm exempting all John Woo movies because he makes the best damn action sequences in motion pictures. In any event, this site rates movies based on their, um, adherence to physics. Excerpt:

THE MOVIE PHYSICS RATING SYSTEM
In the name of physics decency, to protect the minds of children everywhere, so that they may grow up in a world where they know the difference between speed and velocity, we have taken the responsibility to rate movies for their portrayal of excessively bad physics. The system is as follows:

GP = Good physics in general

PGP = Pretty good physics (just enough flaws to be fun)

PGP-13 = Children under 13 might be tricked into thinking the physics were pretty good; parental guidance is suggested

RP = Retch

XP = Obviously physics from an unknown universe

NR = Unrated. When a movie is obviously a parody, fantasy, cartoon or is clearly based on a comic book it can't be rated but may still have some interesting physics worth discussing.

The movie with the worst reliance on physics of all time? The Core.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:35 PM | Comments (1)

A message for the press

"Hello there. Say, that's a nice bat you've got in your hands. Are we playing a game today?"

"Why yes we are. It's called 'Administration of a Clue'. I'll go first, okay?"

Misha offers some advice to the press corps which they would be well advised to heed. Unfortunately, it's hard to hear when your head is so far up you ass.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:42 PM | Comments (0)

Now I can really be a jerk

Supply of hand cream? Check.

Is my date here? Yes sir, Rosy Palm has just arrived. Check.

Is everyone sitting in a circle? Check.

Let the jerking commence forthwith.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

Patriotism

My local newspaper reprinted excerpts from a speech that Robert Heinlein delivered to the US Naval Academy back in 1973. I found the speech in its entirety over at Jerry Pournelle's site and am reprinting it in its entirety here. The speech is 31 years old, but it still rings true. Enjoy.


"The Pragmatics of Patriotism" Robert A. Heinlein EXPANDED UNIVERSE (Ace Science Fiction Books, 1980)

On 5 April 1973 I delivered the James Forrestal Memorial Lecture to the Brigade of Midshipmen at my alma mater the United States Naval Academy. As the first half of the lecture, at the request of the midshipmen, I discussed freelance writing. This is the second half:

In this complex world, science, the scientific method, and the consequences of the scientific method are central to everything the human race is doing and to wherever we are going. If we blow ourselves up we will do it by the misapplication of science; if we manage to keep from blowing ourselves up, it will be through intelligent application of science. Science fiction is the only form of fiction which takes into account this central force in our lives and futures. Other sorts of fiction, if they notice science at all, simply deplore it -- an attitude very chichi in the anti-intellectual atmosphere today. But we will never get out of the mess we are in by wringing our hands.

Let me make one flat-footed prediction of the science-fiction type. Like all scenarios this one has assumptions -- variables treated as constants. The primary assumption is that World War Three will hold off long enough -- ten, twenty, thirty years -- for this prediction to work out. . .plus a secondary assumption that the human race will not find some other way to blunder into ultimate disaster.

Prediction: In the immediate future -- by that I mean in the course of the naval careers of the class of '73 -- there will be nuclear-powered, constant-boost spaceships -- ships capable of going to Mars and back in a couple of weeks -- and these ships will be armed with Buck-Rogerish death rays. Despite all treaties now existing or still to be signed concerning the peaceful use of space, these spaceships will be used in warfare. Space navies will change beyond recognition our present methods of warfare and will control the political shape of the world for the foreseeable future. Furthermore -- and still more important -- these new spaceships will open the Solar System to colonization and will eventually open up the rest of the Galaxy.

I did NOT say that the United States will have these ships. The present sorry state of our country does not permit me to make such a prediction. In the words of one of our most distinguished graduates in his THE INFLUENCE OF SEA POWER UPON HISTORY: "Popular governments are not generally favorable to military expenditures, however necessary--"

Every military officer has had his nose rubbed in wry truth of Admiral Mahan's observation. I first found myself dismayed by it some forty years ago when I learned that I was expected to maintain the ship's battery of USS ROPER in a state of combat readiness on an allowance of less than a dollar a day -- with World War Two staring down our throats.

The United States is capable of developing such spaceships. But the mood today does not favor it. So I am unable to predict that WE will be the nation to spend the necessary R&D money to build such ships.

(Addressed to a plebe midshipman:)

Mister, how long is it to graduation?

Sixty-two days? Let's make it closer than that. I have. . .7.59, just short of eight bells. Assuming graduation for ten in the morning that gives. . .5,320,860 seconds to graduation. . .and I have less than 960 seconds in which to say what I want to say.

(To the Brigade at large:)

Why are you here?

(To a second plebe:)

Mister, why are YOU here?

Never mind, son; that's a rhetorical question. You are here to become a naval officer. That's why this Academy was founded. That is why all of you are here: to become naval officers. If that is NOT why YOU are here, you've made a bad mistake. But I speak to the overwhelming majority who understood the oath they took on becoming midshipmen and look forward to the day when they will renew that oath as commissioned officers.

But why would anyone want to become a naval officer?

In the present dismal state of our culture there is little prestige attached to serving your country; recent public opinion polls place military service far down the list.

It can't be the pay. No one gets rich on the pay. Even a 4-star admiral is paid much less than top executives in other lines. As for lower ranks the typical naval officer finds himself throughout his career just catching up from the unexpected expenses connected with the last change of duty when another change of duty causes a new financial crisis. Then, when he is about fifty, he is passed over and retires. . .but he can't really retire because he has two kids in college and one still to go. So he has to find a job. . .and discovers that jobs for men his age are scarce and usually don't pay well.

Working conditions? You'll spend half your life away from your family. Your working hours? "Six days shalt thou work and do all thou art able; the seventh day the same, and pound the cable." A forty-hour week is standard for civilians -- but not for naval officers. You'll work that forty-hour week but that's just a starter. You'll stand a night watch as well, and duty weekends. Then with every increase in grade your hours get longer -- until at last you get a ship of your own and no longer stand watches. Instead you are on duty twenty-four hours a day. . .and you'll sign your night order book with: "In case of doubt, do not hesitate to call me."

I don't know the average week's work for a naval officer but it's closer to sixty than to forty. I'm speaking of peacetime, of course. Under war conditions it is whatever hours are necessary -- and sleep you grab when you can.

Why would anyone elect a career which is unappreciated, overworked, and underpaid? It can't be just to wear a pretty uniform. There has to be a better reason.

As one drives through the bushveldt of East Africa it is easy to spot herds of baboons grazing on the ground. But not by looking at the ground. Instead you look up and spot the lookout, and adult male posted on a limb of a tree where he has a clear view all around him -- which is why you can spot him; he has to be where he can see a leopard in time to give the alarm. On the ground a leopard can catch a baboon. . .but if a baboon is warned in time to reach the trees, he can out-climb a leopard.

The lookout is a young male assigned to that duty and there he will stay, until the bull of the herd sends up another male to relieve him.

Keep your eye on that baboon; we'll be back to him.

Today, in the United States, it is popular among self-styled "intellectuals" to sneer at patriotism. They seem to think that it is axiomatic that any civilized man is a pacifist, and they treat the military profession with contempt. "Warmongers" -- "Imperialists" -- "Hired killers in uniform" -- you have all heard such sneers and you will hear them again. One of their favorite quotations is: "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

What they never mention is that the man who made that sneering remark was a fat, gluttonous slob who was pursued all his life by a pathological fear of death.

I propose to prove that that baboon on watch is morally superior to that fat poltroon who made that wisecrack.

Patriotism is the most practical of all human characteristics.

But in the present decadent atmosphere patriots are often too shy to talk about it -- as if it were something shameful or an irrational weakness.

But patriotism is NOT sentimental nonsense. Nor something dreamed up by demagogues. Patriotism is as necessary a part of man's evolutionary equipment as are his eyes, as useful to the race as eyes are to the individual.

A man who is NOT patriotic is an evolutionary dead end. This is not sentiment but the hardest of logic.

To prove that patriotism is a necessity we must go back to fundamentals. Take any breed of animal -- for example, tyrannosaurus rex. What is the most basic thing about him? The answer is that tyrannosaurus rex is dead, gone, extinct.

Which brings us to the second fundamental question: Will homo sapiens stay alive? Will he survive?

We can answer part of that at once: Individually h. sapiens will NOT survive. It is unlikely that anyone here tonight will be alive eighty years from now; it approaches mathematical certainty that we will all be dead a hundred years from now as even the youngest plebe here would be 118 years old by then -- if still alive.

Some men do live that long but the percentage is so microscopic as not to matter. Recent advances in biology suggest that human life may be extended to a century and a quarter, even a century and a half -- but this will create more problems than it solves. When a man reaches my age or thereabouts, the last great service he can perform is to die and get out of the way of younger people.

Very well, as individuals we all die. This brings us to the second half of the question: Does homo sapiens AS A BREED have to die? The answer is: No, it is NOT unavoidable.

We have two situations, mutually exclusive: Mankind surviving, and mankind extinct. With respect to morality, the second situation is a null class. An extinct breed has NO behavior, moral or otherwise.

Since survival is the sine qua non, I now define "moral behavior" as "behavior that tends toward survival." I won't argue with philosophers or theologians who choose to use the word "moral" to mean something else, but I do not think anyone can define "behavior that tends toward extinction" as being "moral" without stretching the word "moral" all out of shape.

We are now ready to observe the hierarchy of moral behavior from its lowest level to its highest.

The simplest form of moral behavior occurs when a man or other animal fights for his own survival. Do not belittle such behavior as being merely selfish. Of course it is selfish. . .but selfishness is the bedrock on which all moral behavior starts and it can be immoral only when it conflicts with a higher moral imperative. An animal so poor in spirit that he won't even fight on his own behalf is already an evolutionary dead end; the best he can do for his breed is to crawl off and die, and not pass on his defective genes.

The next higher level is to work, fight, and sometimes die for your own immediate family. This is the level at which six pounds of mother cat can be so fierce that she'll drive off a police dog. It is the level at which a father takes a moonlighting job to keep his kids in college -- and the level at which a mother or father dives into a flood to save a drowning child. . .and it is still moral behavior even when it fails.

The next higher level is to work, fight, and sometimes die for a group larger that the unit family -- an extended family, a herd, a tribe -- and take another look at that baboon on watch; he's at that moral level. I don't think baboon language is complex enough to permit them to discuss such abstract notions as "morality" or "duty" or "loyalty" -- but it is evident that baboons DO operate morally and DO exhibit the traits of duty and loyalty; we see them in action. Call it "instinct" if you like -- but remember that assigning a name to a phenomenon does not explain it.

But that baboon behavior can be explained in evolutionary terms. Evolution is a process that never stops. Baboons who fail to exhibit moral behavior do not survive; they wind up as meat for leopards. Every baboon generation has to pass this examination in moral behavior; those who bilge it don't have progeny. Perhaps the old bull of the tribe gives lessons. . .but the leopard decides who graduates -- and there is no appeal from his decision. We don't have to understand the details to observe the outcome; Baboons behave morally -- for baboons.

The next level in moral behavior higher than that exhibited by the baboon is that in which duty and loyalty are shown toward a group of your kind too large for an individual to know all of them. We have a name for that. It is called "patriotism."

Behaving on a still higher moral level were the astronauts who went to the Moon, for their actions tend toward the survival of the entire race of mankind. The door they opened leads to hope that h. sapiens will survive indefinitely long, even longer than this solid planet on which we stand tonight. As a direct result of what they did, it is now possible that the human race will NEVER die.

Many short-sighted fools think that going to the Moon was just a stunt. But that astronauts knew the meaning of what they were doing, as is shown by Neil Armstrong's first words in stepping down onto the soil of Luna: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

Let us note proudly that eleven of the Astronaut Corps are graduates of this our school.

And let me add that James Forrestal was the FIRST high-ranking Federal official to come out flatly for space travel.

I must pause to brush off those parlor pacifists I mentioned earlier. . .for they contend that THEIR actions are on this highest moral level. They want to put a stop to war; they say so. Their purpose is to save the human race from killing itself off; they say that too. Anyone who disagrees with them must be a bloodthirsty scoundrel -- and they'll tell you that to your face.

I won't waste time trying to judge their motives; my criticism is of their mental processes: Their heads aren't screwed on tight. They live in a world of fantasy.

Let me stipulate that, if the human race managed its affairs sensibly, we could do without war.

Yes -- and if pigs had wings, they could fly.

I don't know what planet those pious pacifists are talking about but it can't be the third one out from the Sun. Anyone who has seen the Far East -- or Africa -- or the Middle East -- knows are certainly should know that there is NO chance of abolishing war in the foreseeable future. In the past few years I have ben around the world three times, traveled in most of the communist countries, visited many of the so-called emerging countries, plus many trips to Europe and to South America; I saw nothing that cheered me as to the prospects for peace. The seeds of war are everywhere; the conflicts of interest are real and deep, and will not be abolished by pious platitudes.

The best we can hope for is a precarious balance of power among the nations capable of waging total war -- while endless lesser wars break out here and there.

I won't belabor this. Our campuses are loaded with custard-headed pacifists but the yard of the Naval Academy is not on place where I will encounter them. We are in agreement that the United States still needs a navy, that the Republic will always have need for heroes -- else you would not be here tonight and in uniform.

Patriotism -- Moral behavior at the national level. Non sibi sed Patria. Nathan Hale's last words: "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country." Torpedo Squadron Eight making its suicidal attack. Four chaplains standing fast while the water rises around them. Thomas Jefferson saying, "The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed form time to time with the blood of patriots--" A submarine skipper giving the order "Take her DOWN!" while he himself is still topside. Jonas Ingram standing on the steps of Bancroft Hall and shouting, "The Navy has no place for good losers! The Navy needs tough sons of bitches who can go out there an WIN!"

Patriotism -- An abstract word used to describe a type of behavior as harshly practical as good brakes and good tires. It means that you place the welfare of your nation ahead of your own even if it costs you your life.

Men who go down to the sea in ships have long had another way of expressing the same moral behavior tagged by the abstract expression "patriotism." Spelled out in simple Anglo-Saxon words "Patriotism" reads "Women and children first!"

And that is the moral result of realizing a self-evident biological fact: Men are expendable; women and children are not. A tribe or a nation can lose a high percentage of its men and still pick up the pieces and go on. . .as long as the women and children are saved. But if you fail to save the women and children, you've had it, you're done, you're THROUGH! You join tyrannosaurus rex, one more breed that bilged its final test.

I must amplify that. I know that women can fight and often have. I have known many a tough old grandmother I would rather have on my side in a tight spot than any number of pseudo-males who disdain military service. My wife put in three years and a butt active duty in World War Two, plus ten years reserve, and I am proud -- very proud! -- of her naval service. I am proud of every one of our women in uniform; they are a shining example to us men.

Nevertheless, as a mathematical proposition in the facts of biology, children, and women of child-bearing age, are the ultimate treasure that we must save. Every human culture is based on "Women and children first" -- and any attempt to do it any other way leads quickly to extinction.

Possibly exctinction is the way we are headed. Great nations have died in the past; it can happen to us.

Nor am I certain how good our chances our. To me it seems self-evident that any nation that loses its patriotic fervor is on the skids. Without that indispensable survival factor the end is only a matter of time. I don't know how deeply the rot has penetrated -- but it seems to me that there has been a change for the worse in the last fifty years. Possibly I am misled by the offensive behavior of a noisy but unimportant minority. But it does seem to me that patriotism has lost its grip on a large percentage of our people.

I hope I am wrong. . .because if my fears are well grounded, I would not bet two cents on this nation's chance of lasting even to the end of this century.

But there is now way to force patriotism on anyone. Passing a law will not create it, nor can we buy it by appropriating so many billions of dollars.

You gentlemen of the Brigade are most fortunate. You are going to a school where this basic moral virtue is daily reinforced by precept and example. It is not enough to know what Charlie NOble does for a living, or what makes the wildcat wild, or which BatDiv failed to splice the main brace and why -- nor to learn matrix algebra and navigation and ballistics and aerodynamics and nuclear engineering. These things are merely the working tools of your profession and could be learned elsewhere; they do not require "four years together by the Bay where the Severn joins the tide."

What you do have here is a tradition of service. Your most important classroom is Memorial Hall. Your most important lesson is the way you feel inside when you walk up those steps and see that shot-torn flag framed in the arch of the door: "Don't Give Up the Ship."

If you feel nothing, you don't belong here. But if it give you goose flesh just to see that old battle flag, then you are going to find that feeling increasing every time you return here over the years. . .until it reaches a crescendo the day you return and read the list of your own honored dead -- classmates, shipmates, friends -- read them with grief and pride while you try to keep your tears silent.

The time has come for me to stop. I said that "Patriotism" is a way of saying "Women and children first." And that no one can force a man to feel this way. Instead he must embrace it freely. I want to tell about one such man. He wore no uniform and no one knows his name, or where he came from; all we know is what he did.

In my home town sixty years ago when I was a child, my mother and father used to take me and my brothers and sisters out to Swope Park on Sunday afternoons. It was a wonderful place for kids, with picnic grounds and lakes and a zoo. But a railroad line cut straight through it.

One Sunday afternoon a young married couple were crossing these tracks. She apparently did not watch her step, for she managed to catch her foot in the frog of a switch to a siding and could not pull it free. Her husband stopped to help her.

But try as they might they could not get her foot loose. While they were working at it, a tramp showed up, walking the ties. He joined the husband in trying to pull the young woman's foot loose. No luck --

Out of sight around the curve a train whistled. Perhaps there would have been time to run and flag it down, perhaps not. In any case both men went right ahead trying to pull her free. . .and the train hit them.

The wife was killed, the husband was mortally injured and did later, the tramp was killed -- and testimony showed that neither man made the slightest effort to save himself.

The husband's behavior was heroic. . .but what we expect of a husband toward his wife: his right, and his proud privilege, to die for his woman. But what of this nameless stranger? Up to the very last second he could have jumped clear. He did not. He was still trying to save this woman he had never seen before in his life, right up to the very instant the train killed him. And that's all we'll ever know about him.

THIS is how a man dies.

This is how a MAN. . .lives!

"They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old age shall not wither them nor the years condemn; As the going down of the sun and in the morning, we shall remember them..."

-Tomb of the Scottish Unknown Soldier, Edinburgh


Posted by Physics Geek at 02:23 PM | Comments (4)

July 02, 2004

Time to up the dosage

And I'm not talking Vitamin B supplements, either. Strychnine, anyone? Iit turns out that some Democrats in the US effing House of Representatives want the &#%#$#$ United Nations to monitor OUR Presidential Election. You know what I want? For those dickheads to go and fuck themself. Hat tip to the Inoperable Terran.

Update: Geek with a .45 has helpfully posted the names of these scumsuckers. For the record, any blue-helmeted people seen at my polling place are getting a serious can of whoopass opened on them.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:02 PM | Comments (1)

Quote of the day

Will Collier posted a story about how he made WFB laugh heartily. Excerpt:

My question: "Mr. Buckley, I'm sure you're familiar with the famous observation of Sir Winston Churchill that a young man who is not a liberal has no heart, but an old man who is a liberal has no brain.

"Just before the last election [1988], a poll here found that 75 percent of Auburn's students were voting for President Bush [41], while over 80 percent of the faculty were voting for Michael Dukakis."

(Brief pause for breath, hopeful I wouldn't screw up the punchline.)

"Given all those facts, would you say that Auburn is a school of heartless students, being taught by a brainless faculty?"


Posted by Physics Geek at 05:30 PM | Comments (1)

The road to Hell...

The good intentions of legislators misfires again. Or is that still? Excerpt:

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - Because of a legislative oversight, a new Virginia law requires businesses to give workers Saturdays or Sundays off if they want it, alarming some businesses with weekend and round-the-clock shifts to cover.
...
All state Sen. Frederick M. Quayle wanted to do was repeal the archaic laws banning Sunday work. His measure did that, but it also got rid of a long list of business exemptions attached to the old statute. That list was the same one attached to another obsolete statute, the "day-of-rest" law, which is still on the books.

No one noticed.
...
In a recent report, Robertson and another attorney said an increasing number of employees will probably take advantage of the law once the legislature's error becomes widely known.

No shit. Well, consider this free advertisement. Let every-freaking-body know.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:14 PM | Comments (0)

July 01, 2004

News roundup

"Shoot him! No-no, not HIM--- argghh!"

Crap. Another commercial for John Kerry.

Oh look! A baby Michael Moore supporter.

Just do her it!(notice the Nike swoosh)

I think I need to see a therapist. Please?

Very cool. At least one more movie with the same cast.

"I'm marrying for love. And this time, I mean it!" ::yawn:: Who cares? Just go away. Please.

I'll be waiting.

Wouldn't a cork have sufficed? Just asking.

The irresistible YEEAARRGGHHH! meets the immovable ego. Hilarity to ensue. Not.

"I'd like some Flinstones chewables, please. How much? 50 cases should get me started." No really, interesting and potentially good news.

It's all for the children! Unless you're an asshat parent.

Not to be too blunt about it, but, oh fuck it. Tell the government to keep their effing hands off of my property. Might as well remove the phrase "private property" from the English language. Shitheads.

Maybe George W.'s speeches are written in the Congo first and then translated. Just suggesting a possibility, mind you.

This might replace "42" as the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:48 PM | Comments (3)

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Whitehouse

From one of my favorite musicals. Yes, there are few lyrics that I just couldn't come up with links to. Any and all suggestions would be appreciated.
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Something familiar,
something peculiar.
Something for everyone,
A comedy tonight!

Something appealing,
Something appalling,
Something for everyone,
A comedy tonight!

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns.
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations,
New complications,
Nothing portentous or polite;
Tragedy tomorrow,
Comedy tonight!

Something convulsive,
Something repulsive,
Something for everyone,
A comedy tonight!

Something aesthetic,
Something frenetic,
Something for everyone,
A comedy tonight!

Nothing with gods, nothing with fate;
Weighty affairs will just have to wait!

Nothing that's formal,
Nothing that's normal,
No recitations to recite!
Open up the curtain,
Comedy Tonight!

Something erratic,
Something dramatic,
Something for everyone,
A comedy tonight!

Frenzy and frolic,
Strictly symbolic.
Something for everyone,
a comedy tonight!

Something familiar,
Something peculiar,
Something for everybody,
Comedy tonight!

Something that's gaudy,
Something that's bawdy--

Something for everybawdy!

Comedy tonight!

Nothing that's grim.
Nothing that's Greek.

She plays Medea later this week.

Stunning surprises!

Cunning disguises!


Hundreds of actors out of sight!

Pantaloons and tunics!
Courtesans and eunuchs!
Funerals and chases!
Baritones and basses!

Panderers!
Philanderers!
Cupidity!
Timidity!
Mistakes!
Fakes!
Rhymes!

Mimes!

Tumblers!
Grumblers!
Bumblers!
Fumblers!

No royal curse, no Trojan horse,
And a happy ending, of course!

Goodness and badness,
man in his madness.
This time it all turns out alright.
Tragedy tomorrow,
comedy tonight!

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:13 PM | Comments (3)