May 27, 2004

When the honeymoon is over...

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back,
the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the
honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam
started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I
mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me
home.... Please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so
awful? What 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so
embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother
these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON,
COOK...!"

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:50 PM | Comments (0)

Looking for an Instalanche?

Ace of Spades might be on to something. I sure as Hell hope not, though. Link via Michele.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:51 PM | Comments (1)

May 26, 2004

Incredible cybersex

Really old, but worth repeating.
-------------------------------------
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known
as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared
through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see
below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online
chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe
he does...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on
a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a
T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells
funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a
hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue
all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your
hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand
it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: ::logged of::

::The End::

Update: Yeah, I can call it that, even though it's more than a year after the fact. Anyway, Ace and My Vast Rightwing Conspiracy have two separate posts on this very topic. Funny stuff.

Posted by Physics Geek at 09:17 PM | Comments (2)

Religion under attack again(or is it still?)

Check out this story over at Volokh. Apparently, the Los Angeles County seal contains a tiny cross representing the history of Catholic missions in the county. The ACLU, of course, wants to have those symbols removed due to the "separation of church and state". No word yet on whether or not the ACLU would have been as zealous to remove a symbol of Islam in the county seal.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:56 PM | Comments (2)

Wictory Wednesday

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:18 AM | Comments (0)

May 25, 2004

It's time for some linky love

Well, this will be a miniature linkfest because of increased responsibilties at work. Bastards actually want me to earn my salary. ::sniff:: Anyway, here goes:

Michael Fumento takes on the subject of stem cell research.

Researchers are engaged in a "stem-cell war," a deliberate effort to downplay the proven value of adult stem cells to attract more attention to the potential of embryonic stem cells.
It's a war being fought partly over ethics, but mostly over money.

Stem-cell research constitutes one of the most exciting areas in medical science. It promises to prevent, ameliorate and cure diseases for which there are now few if any treatments. Far easier is listing what stem cells don't have the potential to do, but here are a few of the wonders in progress:

More than 30 anticancer uses for stem cells have been tested on humans, with many already in routine therapeutical use.

By some accounts, the area in which stem-cell applications are moving fastest is autoimmune disease, in which the body's own protective system turns on itself. Diseases for which stem cells currently are being tested on humans include diabetes, lupus, multiple sclerosis, Evans syndrome, rheumatic disease and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis [Lou Gehrig's disease], among many others.

Just last February, two different human-autopsy studies demonstrated that stem cells transfused into the marrow work their way into the brain, where they can repair neurons and other vital cells. Other studies have shown that when injected into animals with severed spinal cords, stem cells rush to the injury site effecting repairs.
"I think the stem cells may act as a repair squad," says the leader of one of the two studies, Helen Blau of the Stanford University Brain Research Institute. "They travel through the bloodstream, respond to stress, and contribute to brain cells. They clearly repair damage in muscle and other tissues."

At a conference in late 2002, French researchers reported that during the last 14 years they had performed 69 stem-cell transplants with an 85 percent disease-free survival rate. Since improving their procedure in 1992, all 30 of the last transplants have been successful.

Stem cells have been injected into damaged hearts and become functional muscle. This destroyed the dogma that heart muscle cannot be repaired, just as stem-cell research also wrecked the firmly held belief that brain tissue cannot regenerate.

Unless you've spent the last several years stranded on a deserted island, you've probably heard of at least some of these medical miracles. But here's what you may have missed. While the overwhelming majority of favorable media coverage of stem cells concerns those pulled from human embryos, called embryonic stem cells, or ESCs, not a single treatment listed above has used that kind of cell.

...

Activists such as Christopher Reeve have it backward when they say that restrictions on ESC research funding will prevent him from walking again.

ASC studies already have enabled quadriplegic animals to walk again, and human trials should be right around the corner. But the chance of ESCs helping people such as Reeve in the next 10 years is practically nil. Reeve should know about this: Many of the amazing ASC studies, including Ira Black's, have been funded by something called the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation.

Read the whole thing.
--------------------
Boo freaking hoo. I'm certain that the same people ran the "Don't Vote For Perot" campaign.
---------------------
I think I'll skip the baptism. Thanks for offering, though.
---------------
Frank imparts the words of wisdom that he would express if he were president. Excerpt:

So Iraq is just a start, and every despot out there better start packing if he knows what's good for him and every psychotic terrorist better renew his life insurance. Some may say that for every evil terrorist we kill, we create another bin Laden. Well, guess what; we can make bullets and cruise missiles even faster.

Still, there are going to be many Americans against our war in Iraq and other places. If you are one of them, then please write out your reasoned arguments in a letter, put it into a an envelope, address it to "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue", put a stamp on it, and then SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

Thank you and God bless
----------------------
Found this article about the People's Republic of Berkeley and the strong anti-Semitism present there. Absolutely frightening stuff. Hat tip to Andrea.
-------------------------
Jim Treacher has some thoughts about the Angel finale. I'm gonna miss that series. Oh well, it'll free up one more hour during the week.

Speaking of the Buffy/Angel-verse, did anyone else notice that Charisma Carpenter was on the cover of Playboy? And not just the cover. May I say that

1) She looks HOT!
2) And 100% God-given natural.
3) Did I mention she looks hot?

It had been a decade since I'd parted ways with some money for an issue. I just couldn't resist this time. For those of you that thinks this means I'm demeaning women, well, bite me. I love women. Short ones, tall ones, blondes, brunettes, redheads and pretty much any variation thereof. What I like most, though, is women that are natural. Too many Playmates(Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak) have been-altered- because they thought that being among the most beautiful women in the world just wasn't enough. I've been fooled on occasion, but to my eye, Charisma looks, well, unaltered, if you catch my drift. Gorgeous and sexy. Yippee!
--------------------------
Spoons has a different take on the upcoming election than Geek with A.45. Choose your poison. Personally, I agree with some of both posts. Here are my opinions:

1) The Democrats have, as a party, gone off the deep end, with some obvious exceptions(Zell Miller, Joe Lieberman) still hanging around. A Kerry defeat could finally force the Democrats to repudiate some of the extremist factions within their party. The Republicans have already done this to a substantial degree, although I'm sure that some will disagree. This country needs the two major political parties to act somewhat like grownups. Right now, the Republicans are leading the Democrats in this category and it's not because the Republicans are necessarily behaving maturely.

2) Bush has firmly embraced the Gerald Ford liberal wing of the Republican party. Spoons is correct in that a Bush win could enshrine that as the dominant position in the Republican party for a long time. If that happens, us conservative/small "l" libertarians will have nowhere to turn.

Truthfully, neither choice thrills me. However, the issue foremost in my mind is how each man will act as Commander in Chief during the war on terror. There's no question in my mind that Bush is the clear leader here. Based on that alone, I have to hope for a Bush win. Notice the Blogs for Bush link in the gutter, just in case. My most fervent hope is that parties such as the Libertarian and Constituions parties will finally get a large enough following so as to make an impact nationally. However, that day is not yet upon us.
-------------------------

James has a great roundup of President Bush's speech last night.
-------------------------
The Carnival of the Vanities is up and running in its 88th incarnation. Amazing, isn't it? Check out the linkage at Spot On.
------------------------

The Instamonster offers this cogent analysis of the 2004 presidential election:

THIS ELECTION IS LOOKING LIKE a World Series between the Red Sox and the Cubs, as each side's fans worry, with some reason, that their guy will blow it. Republicans are afraid that Bush is in trouble, while Mickey Kaus continues his "Dem Panic Watch" feature. There's bad news for both candidates in the latest polls. Bush keeps falling in overall approval, but the voters seem to think less of Kerry as time goes on. It's a bizarre race to the bottom.
--------------------------

The Emperor takes another whack at Andy Rooney. He's such an easy, pitiful target that it's like dynamiting fish in a thimble. Someone tell Misha to up the charge next time. He's going too easy on the 60 Minutes resident idiot.
--------------------

It seems that Serenity appreciates the simple joys in life. Heh.
------------------------

Jonathan Hawkins links to a drooling moonbat festival is his latest installment of Anyone Can Post On The Internet. He also posts some interesting data taken from the Battleground States Polling Data. Very interesting.
-------------------------------

Tactitus offers room under the Republican tent for DLC members. Apparently, they are no longer welcome in their own party(he links to and quotes from a Kos piece). Ideological purity above all else, I guess, and Kos and his ilk get to determine who's truly a Democrat and who isn't. I've seen dickless wonders like them try and tell Jeff Jarvis that he's not a real liberal.
Hat tip to Pejman.
----------------------

The Bartender has an updated Champagne Room set of comments going. All of the links are probably NSFW. Go there; wear something easily cleaned.

He also shows a post-chili eating contest photo. Been there, done that. Okay, not the flames.
------------------------

Steven H. offers some kindly advice to Hunter S. Thompson:

Geez, Hunter. You promoted drug use at a time when that was the last thing our country needed. You glorified the violent and the stupid. You attacked our values with no constructive purpose in mind, contributing to our moral decline.

You're ashamed that you carry an American passport? As an American, I'm kind of ashamed, too.
--------------------------

WTF? I knew that Madison, Wisconsin was a midwest Berkeley, but this story manages to surprise me. Excerpt from LGF:

The City Council of Madison Wisconsin is considering a proposal to become a “Sister City” with the town of Rafah in the Gaza Strip: Madison-Rafah Sister City Project.
...
The lunatics have taken over the Madison City Council. That “municipal government” in Rafah that “reflects a democratic vision” ... is Hamas.

--------------------------

Kim du Toit links to this story about "The Coming American Dictatorship." I'm not an alarmist, but there's some pretty scary stuff in there.
------------------------

Jen posts an amusing quote from Mrs. Cronkite.
---------------------

Harvey-the copycat- beats me to the punch with this list by less than 24 hours. Maybe I should have saved it in Publish mode? Just curious.

Posted by Physics Geek at 09:23 PM | Comments (5)

Sad story

A wife woke of the middle of the night to find her husband
missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the
house. She heard sobbing from the basement.

After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found
he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could
hurt him so much.

"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant?"

"And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"

"Yes, of course," she replied.

"Well, I would have been released tonight."

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:44 PM | Comments (2)

May 24, 2004

Some things you just can't explain

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man
comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this
beautiful day getting drunk?"

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So what happened that's so horrible?

Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got
the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.

Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So what happened then?

Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.

Man: and then?

Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got
the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.

Man: Again?

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So, what did you do then?

Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on
the right.

Man: and then?

Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I
got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with
her tail.

Man: Hmmm...

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So, what did you do?

Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and
tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and
my wife walked in.....

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:33 PM | Comments (1)

Golf anyone?

There once was a lawyer who was so fanatical about his golf game that
he used to play every day. One morning he had played the first hole
and was just about to tee off on the second, when he saw the most
gorgeous woman he had ever seen putting on the first. The lawyer
waited until the woman had reached the second tee and asked if she
would like to join him and they could finish the round together. To
his surprise the woman agreed and they played the remaining holes. Not
only was this woman beautiful, she was also a good golfer.

When they completed their round, the lawyer told the woman that, not
only was he a lawyer, but he was also a cordon bleu chef and wine
buff.

He invited her back to his place for a meal and a few drinks. The
woman accepted enthusiastically and off they went.

Back at the house the lawyer cooked a magnificent meal. In fact it was
more than just cooking it was a performance to behold. They enjoyed
good food, good wine and good conversation.

After the meal, the woman repaid the lawyer with the best oral sex he
had ever experienced. The lawyer was so taken by the beauty and skill
of this woman and desired her no end. He then asked if she would like
to play golf the following morning, to which she agreed.

Once again they enjoyed a great game of golf, a magnificent evening
meal and once more the woman performed sensational oral sex on the
lawyer.

This went on for three weeks when the lawyer finally said to the
woman, "Listen, the golf and the company have been fantastic! But,
there are only so many performances a man can take. When are we going
to have sexual intercourse?"

"We can't," said the woman.

"Why not?" came the reply.

"Because I'm a transvestite" replied the woman.

"YOU BITCH!" screamed the lawyer, "...I CAN'T BELIEVE that you've been
playing off the LADIES TEE FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS!"

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:28 PM | Comments (0)

Chain Letter for Men

This chain letter was started by a gentleman in the hopes of bringing relief
to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does
not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends
who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife or
girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the
list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you
will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one
you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had
already received 184 women, four of whom were worth keeping.

REMEMBER -

This chain brings luck. One man's pit bull terrier died, and the next day he
received a Page Three model. An unmarried Turkish man living with his
widowed mother was able to choose between a well-educated, sweet natured
university graduate who could both work and not be too tired for fun, and
successful dot.com businesswoman nymphomaniac. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain and got his wife back.

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:18 PM | Comments (0)

In a nutshell

Just finished reading Jonah Goldberg's latest column and one sentence in particular struck me:

Republicans have their coalitions, too. But the party tends to be ideational. Conservatives say, "If you agree with us on, say, seven issues out of ten, you should vote with us."

Liberals say, "We'll fight for your cause — abortion, affirmative action, whatever — if you fight for ours." The Democrats' problem becomes even more acute because — thanks to its successes and failures — it has no unifying ideas or goals other than holding political power. What unites Democrats today other than defenestrating Bush?

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:56 PM | Comments (2)

May 21, 2004

And one more thing you wish your computer had

As a followup to this post I present the latest creation from David Wong's twisted mind. God love him.

goodjudgment.gif

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:20 AM | Comments (2)

May 20, 2004

Building a better war simulation

I link yet again to The Only News Source You'll Ever Need as David Wong describes in exquisite detail what he's looking for in a war sim. Excerpt:

5. I want that "Public Support" meter to rise and fall according to Troops Lost, Length of Conflict, Innocents Killed and Whether or Not There is Anything Else On TV That Week. I want to lose 200 Public Support points because, in a war where 8,000 units have been lost, one of my Mutalisks happened to be caught on video accidentally eating one clergyman. Then, later, my destruction of an entire enemy city goes unnoticed because the Nude Zero-Gravity Futureball championship went into overtime.

6. Speaking of innocents, I want a War Sim where native townsfolk stand shoulder-to shoulder on every inch of the map and not a single bomb can be dropped without blowing 200 of them into chunks. Forget about the abandoned building wallpaper in Red Alert 2. I want to have to choose between sending marines door-to-door to be killed in the streets or leveling the block from afar, Nuns and all, with 30 carriers. I want to have to choose between 40 dead troops or 400 dead children, and be damned to Hell by chubby pundits from the safety of their studios regardless of which way I go.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:48 PM | Comments (0)

Quote of the day

Andrew Sullivan quotes Christopher Hitchens comment about Michael Moore:

"But speaking here in my capacity as a polished, sophisticated European as well, it seems to me the laugh here is on the polished, sophisticated Europeans. They think Americans are fat, vulgar, greedy, stupid, ambitious and ignorant and so on. And they've taken as their own, as their representative American, someone who actually embodies all of those qualities."

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:13 PM | Comments (1)

No comment

I'm too busy laughing at this post to think of anything rational to say. Hat tip to Jeff.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:26 PM | Comments (2)

Wictory Wednesday

Yes, it's the special Thursday edition of Wictory Wednesday again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:49 PM | Comments (1)

Is our children learning?

I wonder if there was a slight breach in etiquette by jumping straight to the triple dog dare? Moron.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:59 PM | Comments (0)

A happy ending

A family's dog falls into hole in near Death Valley and is assumed dead. Five weeks later someone else finds the dog, amazingly still alive. Cool.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:54 PM | Comments (1)

A story that the media might ignore

A Marine in Iraq has been given leave to come home and donate one of his kidneys to a friend. Excerpt:

Two San Antonians are shining examples of what it means to be friends for life.

A Marine has come home to give his best buddy one of his kidneys.

Jason Tully has had to battle a rare disease that's taken away his kidneys and finding a match for a donor was nearly impossible, until his friend Jeremy Duncan found out he needed his help.

Friends since the sixth grade Tully and Duncan never knew their true test of friendship would come to this.

"He's kind of the closest friend I've ever had. We grew up together, we've been through a lot," said Duncan.

Duncan is a 1st Lt. in the marines and was fighting the war in Iraq, but is on leave to help his friend. Family and fellow marines show their support in his fight for Tully's life.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:51 PM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2004

Required reading

Mrs. du Toit has posted the fourth(and final) in a series called "The Bogeyman". I strongly suggest that you go read them all.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:57 PM | Comments (0)

Putting the science in science fiction

The title of the post is how Arthur C. Clarke has been described. Anyway, not long ago, den Beste posted an article about space ships and weapons that could potentially be used; a related post can be found here. Bastard Sword decides to tackle the issue of power systems. Of particular interest to me what this link wherein the concept of accelerator driven reactors is discussed. I remember covering this idea briefly while studying advanced reactor design in graduate school, although we spent more time covering liquid sodium cooled reactors. Pretty neat stuff, especially if you're a nerd such as myself.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)

May 18, 2004

Microsoft mouse for women

Yes, this post is likely to get me whacked by some humorless people out there.
---------------------------------

Stuck for the perfect gift for your female friends?


Then try the new and improved ‘Mouse for Women’.

Given the difficulties with the utilisation of the standard mouse experienced by women, the leading computer companies IBM and Microsoft have joined forces to try to find a solution to the problem.

Both companies, after many years of research and experimentation into the needs of women of all ages, have created a new mouse (ergonomically designed for female hands) and it has already had a great impact among the female population of computer users, finally ending years of problems caused by previous designs.

Introducing the new ‘Mouse for Women’…..

female_mouse.JPG

Posted by Physics Geek at 08:04 PM | Comments (9)

The day before the day after yesterday...

If you like science fiction which contains no real science, then you're going to LOVE The Day After Tomorrow. Daniel Drezner has his own reasons for hating the film. He also links to Evil Glenn's response. Hat tip to Pejman.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:23 PM | Comments (1)

May 12, 2004

Precision guided humor assignment

And it's time once again to put my liabilities as a humorist on display. There's a new assignment up over at HQ. I just wish it were called "Lame Attempt At Humor Assignment". But we all have issues, right? In any event, here's the assignment:

What "facts" about Michael Moore would you include in a documentary about him?

Here is my predictably lame attempt. Predictable not because I don't actually have a sense of humor, but rather because Michael Moore pisses me off so much that it's hard to be funny about it like Frnak.
---------------------------------------

Fun "facts" about Michael Moore

Michael Moore is actually Jabba the Hut. That is, if Jabba the Hut were much uglier, fatter and smelled worse.

Update: Kevin provides a link which proves my point.

Update: Have I mentioned lately how happy I am that Rachel Lucas is posting again? Warning: objects in image are fatter than they appear.

When Michael Moore leaves the US to visit France, he simultaneously raises the IQ of both countries.

Twinkie sales drop, though. A lot.

Lilttle known fact: Moore played the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. His wish for a brain wasn't granted.

He did get the fat ass and ugly face, though. Yelling "You're a fictitious wizard!" probably wasn't a good idea.

Moore was voted "most likely to have his face shoved in cow shit" in high school.

He's been the subject of some eloquant ranting.

And some horrible parodies.

Most of all, Michael Moore makes me want to cold cock him before I shit on his head. And that's a fact.

One more thing: because this fetid mass of (in)humanity inspires more bile than I can keep down, I've created an acrostic to dishonor him. Hopefully, this will lessen the pressure on my spleen.

Ode to a pretentious dickhead
-------------------------------------------

Many are the things said about me:
I'm fat, a liar and a fraud
'Cause I'm a pretentious asshat.
Here's the reality for you:
Any time of the day or night,
Every one of those things is true,
Loser that I am.

Mostly, I'm a self-aggrandizing parasite.
On some days, I'll create a fake "documentary".
On others, I'll fabricate stories to hype my movies.
Really, what did you expect from me?
Evasions, distortions and bald-faced lies are my stock in trade.

Posted by Physics Geek at 06:57 PM | Comments (6)

Wictory Wednesday

I hope that everyone has seen the Nick Berg murder. I hope that people are forced to watch it over and over again. I hope seeing a US citizen get his head sawed off by one subhuman while another holds him down makes people wake up to the fact that showing compassion and/or mercy to those dickwads will only lead to more deaths, maybe some of them here in the States. If that pus-ozzing assboil Ted Kennedy's waffling sock puppet gets elected, look for more US groveling while our citizens get slaughtered. And no, I'm not saying that Teddy or Kerry are in favor of such a thing. What I am saying is that they're so driven by their hatred of the current administration that they are willing to say, do or tolerate anything that will bring them back to power, and that includes using ANYTHING for political gain, regardless of the cost to this country as a whole. For that reason, if no other, Kerry should not be elected. The sane voices in his party(Leiberman, Miller) are being drowned out in a cacophony of "BusHitlet" cries. People such as that must. not. be. allowed control of this country.

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:10 PM | Comments (0)

Kill. Them. All.

I know that some of you will chastise me for this rather un-Christian sentiment. Frankly, I don't care. Whatever spiritual failings I suffer from will be presented to me on Judgment Day. Somehow, though, I don't think that God's going to hold this one against me too much.

What's got me in such a fury? Well, I've just finished watching the Nick Berg video. Some boils on the ass of humanity just sawed off the head of a US citizen and then danced around with it happily. My first thought was that there should be a sheet of radioactive glass where that area used to be. Also, every subsequent response. I'm sure that the mass media fuckwits are ignoring it because they're trying to avoid offending the delicate sensibilities of Americans everywhere. Yeah, sure they are. Those asstards didn't seem to mind too much showing us US atrocities which, by the way, aren't even in the same dimension, let alone league, as what those 7th century goons did. I guess when something just doesn't fit into your political agenda, it's not worth the effort. And that makes me ashamed as an American. The fact that some -not all- of those left of center believe that their ideology trumps even simple human decency makes them beneath contempt. Thanks guys. You just emboldened our enemy. Fat Teddy, I'm talking to you and others like you. Smoke on the Water has a much more eloquent post. Don't forget to check out the Emperor who's uncharacteristically short on words in his post, probably because words can't possibly convey the anger that he feels.

Udpate: Annika weighs in. Excerpt:

What does it take to slice off the head of another live, conscious human being? An innocent human being. With a knife. What is involved in that procedure? Could you do it? Do you think Private England would be capable of such a thing? Or Specialist Graner? Or General Karpinski even?

i bet even Scott Peterson couldn't do it. Not while the victim was still alive. Not with a knife.

Cutting through a fellow human's neck while they're still alive, with a knife, means slicing down through skin, severing arteries and veins, loosing a torrent of pulsing blood, sawing back and forth through thick muscle and tendon, crunching through the hollow, wheezing, screaming windpipe, hitting bone and disk, sawing again, pushing down, hearing it crunch, pop, putting your weight into it, slicing through the spinal cord, watching the body go limp, gripping the handle tight in all the slippery blood, sliding the blade through the last cords of muscle and tendon, blade striking the floor, watching the head roll forward, now just an inanimate object, though its eyes are open, then raising it, still warm, up to the camera.

Could you do that? Can you imagine the mind of someone who could? i simply can't fathom that kind of evil.

Neither can I.

Update: The Donovan puts it succinctly- Wahabism Delenda Est.

Update: Neal Boortz has more. Excerpt:

This vicious murder of an American civilian should serve to reignite the American resolve to destroy, not to appease, but to destroy the Islamic Jihadists. Now you should know that playing nice won't work. While we try to bring to justice the people responsible for the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, the Islamic fanatics cut the head off of an innocent American civilian in order to "redeem" their manhood. They're not men, they're bugs ... and they need to be squashed.

The retaliation for this vicious act must be firm, it must be swift, and it must have a violent finality. These inhuman Muslims must learn that these actions against Americans will not go unanswered ... and the answer will have a terrible finality.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:51 PM | Comments (10)

May 11, 2004

Things you wish your computer had

computer1.bmp


computer2.bmp


computer3.bmp


computer4.bmp


computer5.bmp


computer6.bmp


computer7.bmp

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:20 PM | Comments (3)

The one that didn't get away

You're out for a nice day of fishing. When your nets surround something, you pull it up. Surprise!

It'd be too bad if you were already over the limit, though.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:52 PM | Comments (0)

Where men are men

And small children are, too. The 7 year old in this story walked over 2 km sporting broken ribs and damaged lungs to report that his father was badly hurt. Good tale with a happy ending.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)

The stoopid shall inherit the Earth

File this little story from LeAnn under WTF?! Apparently our little Cheesemistress actually uses words with more than two syllables in them and this upsets one of the In-duh-viduals with which she works. Excerpt:


"How" I asked the Intern, "in the world does she think I've threatened her?"

Intern: "You've made no overt action. She feels intimidated by you, however, and wished to make an official complaint. We felt it was better to discuss the matter with you before taking any action, if necessary."

Me: "Exactly what did I do?"

Intern: "Er... nothing, really.... she said she's intimidated by you, because you talk about people and events that she knows nothing about, and she said it makes her feel stupid."

Me: "You're kidding, right?"

Intern: "We have to take it seriously, it's in the manual. "

Me: "Exactly what was it I said that got her upset?"

Intern: "She mentioned something about medical references, and once you talked about Henry VIII.... it bothers her that she doesn't understand what you're talking about most of the time. Oh, and McGuyver. "

Me: "She's upset because she doesn't know who McGuyver is?"


Go read the whole thing and be horrified.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:18 PM | Comments (0)

May 10, 2004

Okay, time for a joke exchange

I just noticed that the Cheesemistress had posted a joke that I found very amusing. Of course, I'm sick and twisted, so pretty much everything amuses me. However, turnabout is fair play. Here's one in the same vein:

Q: What's the difference between a wrestler and a Catholic priest?

(The answer requires some physical demonstration, so visualize along with me)

A: This is a half-nelson. ::demonstrate hold::
This is a full-nelson. ::change grip::
And this is Father Nelson. ::move hips in a humping motion::

Yes, I already know where I'm going when I die. Thanks for asking.


Posted by Physics Geek at 05:57 PM | Comments (4)

When fantasy and science collide

Great articles from Gregg Easterbrook and Bjorn Lumborg about how the over-the-top scifi bent of The Day After Tomorrow can only hurt the environmental agendas. Excerpt from Easterbrook:

Once Gore was a serious thinker on environmental issues, and diligently sought out top-notch scientific advice; say what you will about his 1992 Earth in the Balance--it's an earnest, conscientious work by someone concerned with getting the details straight. Now Gore appears ready to affiliate his reputation with a cheapo third-rate disaster movie that makes Fantastic Voyage seem like a peer-reviewed technical paper. It's easy to see why MoveOn.org wants the reflection of the new movie's limelight; wild exaggeration is a good fundraising tool. But if Gore associates himself with this mindless flick, he will have completed his descent from serious thinker and national leader to MoveOn.org's sock puppet. Why would Al Gore do this to himself?

Because he's an asshat? Just asking. And now from Lumborg:

In the final minutes of the Hollywood doomsday spectacular The Day After Tomorrow, which opens in Britain at the end of the month, the US president makes a ludicrously over-the-top State of the Nation speech. It is a great deal less realistic than the performance by the undoubted star of this $125 million blockbuster of a film: a 100 ft high tidal wave that engulfs New York.

Indeed, the film loses any credibility long before that. This is not because of any one of the far-fetched incidents that occur in the course of its 125 minutes. It isn't the flash freezing of a presidential motorcade, or even the escape of man-eating wolves from New York Zoo. No, this extremely enjoyable film has been let down by the simple fact that it has got its science all wrong. None of it could happen.

Go read them both.

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:39 PM | Comments (1)

Am I well-read?

Inadvertently posted this over at Munuviania. Whoopsy. Anyway, here it is where it belongs.
-------------------------------

I guess it depends on what that decision's based upon. Anyway, via Accidental Verbosity, Reflections in d Minor and Pejman comes the following list of books. I've bolded the ones that I've read. Feel free to enter your list below or on your blog(assuming that you have one):

Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and PrejudiceBaldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe

Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby

Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22

Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House

James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible

Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein

Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:40 PM | Comments (0)

Headlines we'd like to see

Van Helsing spanks Olsen twins.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:27 PM | Comments (1)

May 07, 2004

Filthy Lie

Last ditch effort for the latest assignment: What was Evil Glenn's first post?

(Note: My sister would kill me for this.)
------------------------------------

Evil Glenn's first post(s):

In the beginning, I created the blogiverse.

And the 'sphere was without Alliances, and empty; and my posts were
upon the face of the Internet. And thoughts of blending puppies and
murdering hobos fill my brain.

And I said, Let there be post #1.

And I saw the post, and that it was good; and I divided my posts
from the emptiness.

And I called puppies food, and the hobos I called
victims. And my first snack and murder concluded the first post.

And I said, Let there be a blog in the midst of the
posts, and let it divide my posts from those of others.

And I created my list of links, and linked only to those
who would not challenge my power while ignoring all others; and it was so.

And I called the lists "bloggers". And the snack and murder concluded the second post.

And I said, Let the bloggers be gathered together unto one place,
and let the bloglist appear; and it was so.

And I called the list "blogroll"; and I saw that it was good.

And I said, Let the blog bring forth links to spread my influence,
ads to bring me money, which in turn increases my power over all others;
and I saw that it was good.

And the snack and murder concluded the third post.

And I said, Let there be highlights to all of my blogroll links; and let them
be my followers for days and years to come.

And let my followers increase my sphere of influence throughout
the blogiverse; and it was so.

And I made two great blog constructs; the banner to proclaim my name
and the gutter to contain all of my ads and links.

And I set them into my blog to introduce me to the blogosphere,

And to increase my power and influence until I ruled the world; and I saw that
it was good.

And the snack and murder concluded the fourth post.

And I said, Let my followers bring forth puppies of all kinds so that I
might taste them all.

And I sampled Weimereiners and Dachsunds and Poodles,
and little toy Terriers that were in abundance. And I saw that it was good.

And I told the survivors, Be fruitful and multiply that I might always
have a tasty energy drink.

And the snack and murder concluded the fifth post.

And I said, Bring me many hobos and their friend,
the Louisville slugger, that I might satisfy my impulses.

And I bonked and bonked and bonked again. And
I saw that it was good.

So I created the blogiverse and my first follower
in my own image.

And I said to them, be fruitful and multiply and
cover all the Internet, and have dominion over
all the bloggers.

And behold I give you the Instalanche pursuant to
your linking to me every day; to you it shall be
web traffic.

And I saw every thing that I had made and it was
very good. And the snack and murder concluded the sixth post.

And on the seventh day I ended my evil toils; and rested on
the seventh day from all of my efforts.

Which was a major screwup because the Alliance came
to be. Indeed.

Posted by Physics Geek at 09:05 PM | Comments (4)

Sing along with Michael Moore!

Oh, I'm an asshat and I'm okay.
I eat all night and I fart all day.

Chorus:
He's an asshat and he's okay.
He eats all night and farts all day.

I tell false tales, I'm full of shit,
I am a big fat liar.
I like to wear my asshat and hang around with stars.

He tells false tales; he's full of shit.
He is a big fat liar.
He likes to wear his asshat and hang around with stars.

Chorus

I make bullshit, I bitch and moan,
I have a little pee-pee.
I like to badger people,
but whine when it's done to me.

Chorus

I am slob, I wear some crap
cheap blue jeans and a cap.
I am the biggest asshat
Behind this other chap.

Chorus

Posted by Physics Geek at 04:35 PM | Comments (2)

This is just wrong

What happens when you combine an evil alien god sleeping "until the stars align" with Beanie Babies? This. On the other hand, Vox Day's Machuthulian candidate has now become a pseudo-reality. Hat tip and rotten tomatoes to Dean.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:54 PM | Comments (2)

Yippee!

She's baaaccckk! Whether it's permanent or temporary is not important right now. What is important is that Rachel Lucas has finally posted again. Excerpt:

It can't be the same as before (I still don't have any extra time and my fingers are even more worn out than six months ago from all the godawful typing I do every day) but ohmygod the rants have been piling up in my brain and they are just dying to get out and scream themselves to whoever is wacko enough to read them.

For the first time in my life, I'm hoping that someone listens to the voices in his/her head.

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:33 PM | Comments (0)

May 06, 2004

Assorted stuff

Cool. Maybe I'll get to see if Buck Rogers actually IS in the 25th century.

Oh no! Now I'll have to stand in line to buy bread again. Darned economy.

Apparently those nifty little optical discs aren't a great choice for permanent storage.

Maybe I should have paid for a better parking space.
this can't be good

So long, Friends. I'll be sorry to see you go. I still have a vivid memory of the first episode:

Ross: I want to be married.

::Rachel enters wearing a wedding dress::

Chandler: I want a million dollars.

Yes, it's silly. But it's far superior to whatever faux-reality dreck the networks have been forcing down our throats. Oh, and NBC? Giving Matt LeBlanc his own show is a serious mistake. See examples #1 and #2. I'm just saying.

The Friends finale will be out on DVD 5 days after it airs. Well that didn't take long.

Coca-Cola has a new spokesperson. I already prefer Coke to Pepsi, but this will only add to my drinking pleasure.
the real thing

Yes, I watched the show as a child and no, I won't be going to see it on the big screen.

What follows is a true and frightening story:

I heard him trying to break in.

I ran to the cabinet, grabbed my automatic,
slammed the clin in and chambered a round.

I was scared as I snuck down the hall to the
back door.

I also grabbed a flash light.

I opened the door as quietly as I could.

I tiptoed to the side of the house where
I heard him still working on the screen.

I turned the corner and put the flashlight
and gun in his face.

I yelled, "Hands up!" as he turned to face me.
cat burglar.JPG

Yep, it was a cat burglar.

This story should make Frank happy.

Why is it that John Kerry wants us to be more like the French?

To be passed out an elementary school near you sometime in the not too distant future.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:43 PM | Comments (0)

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

Found this article via the Corner. Apparently, the ads on the backstop are insufficient to meet demands. Now they'll be placed directly on the BASES as well. Excerpt:

Spider-Man is coming to a base near you.

In the latest example of a sponsor's stamp on the sports world, ads for the movie "Spider-Man 2" will be placed atop bases at 15 major league ballparks during games from June 11-13.

Update: The Yankees have balked at the idea.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:35 PM | Comments (2)

May 05, 2004

Web humor

I was directed to this site and thence to this article by Dean. Very funny stuff. Excerpt:

After heavy criticism from both African Americans and Hispanics for not having any minorities in the 'upper levels' of John Kerry's presidential campaign, John Kerry today announced that he is seeking a Vice Presidential candidate that is black, Jewish, a woman, must be under 4 feet tall and must be from Puerto Rico or have some type of Hispanic background.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:44 PM | Comments (0)

Time for a different career

You think that maybe the "psychic" in question should have seen this coming? Just curious.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:00 PM | Comments (0)

Wictory Wednesday

Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday I ask my readers to volunteer and/or donate to the Bush campaign if they haven't done so already. And if you have volunteered and donated, then get a friend to join you. It's the only way to defeat the lying liberal media.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesday simply by putting up a post like this every Wednesday, asking your readers to volunteer and/or donate to the president's re-election campaign. Be sure to visit these fine participating blogs:

Posted by Physics Geek at 01:40 PM | Comments (0)

May 04, 2004

News roundup

"Bush is questioning my patriotism!" Uh no, he isn't. Dumbass. Excerpt:

So who are the main perpetrators of smears, according to the DNC? It's "Bush's surrogates" and "Republican pundits" and Vietnam veterans. The DNC says this statement by Joe Repya, co-chairman of Veterans for Bush is a smear: "Nobody says [Kerry] wasn't brave when he was in Vietnam. But once he came home, he disavowed his oath as an officer and he gave aid and comfort to our enemy by his antiwar stance." Republicans treat Kerry's antiwar activity as fair game in the presidential race. Now the DNC is suggesting it isn't.

Just more lies from the Rove-Gillespie attack machine, huh?

James Taranto always finds great stuff on the web, but his commentary is what makes it all worthwhile. Excerpt:

The question is: Is it too late? As far as we know, Kerry first introduced himself to the American people, and confided in us that he had served in Vietnam, in December 2002, or 17 months ago. Now here we are just six months until the election, and Kerry's Vietnam service is still the best-kept secret in American politics, at least outside Iowa and New Hampshire.

Perhaps the Dems had best start printing bumper stickers for 2005: "Don't blame me, I didn't know Kerry served in Vietnam."

Yummy!

Idiots across the pond. Maybe the next election will hinge on whether or not recess is extended.

This kind of story is all too common. You know the practice of flashing your headlights to warn other motorist that there's a cop car up the road? Several of my friends have received tickets for "obstruction of justice". What's the problem? You want people to drive the speed limit, right? So flashing your lights will cause motorists to slow down. Which means no speeding tickets; which means no money for the city. Wait, I've just answered my own question. Bah.

This is pretty cool. Several of my relatives have had mastectomies and at least one has had reconstructive surgery. Growing your own breast seems like a good alternative. We'll see where the research goes.

The original Thing was essentially a giant walking carrot. Maybe he was the end result of this experiment. No word on how Popeye is making out these days, though. Excerpt:

A truly extraordinary cure for some forms of blindness is being proposed. The idea is to add light-absorbing pigments from spinach to nerve cells in the retina, to make the nerve cells fire when struck by light.

Eli Greenbaum's team at the Oak Ridge National Laboratories in Tennessee has been exploring this possibility for several years. In their latest experiments, the researchers have shown that adding plant pigments to human cells makes the cells respond to light.

The technique would restore only limited vision at best - people would be colour-blind, for instance - but Greenbaum thinks it could provide far better resolution than the electronic retinal implants being developed.

Only in America: a man bidding to become a police officer scored too high on an intelligence test. Mull that over for a while. Excerpt:

A US man has been rejected in his bid to become a police officer for scoring too high on an intelligence test.

Robert Jordan, a 49-year-old college graduate, took an exam to join the New London police, in Connecticut, in 1996 and scored 33 points, the equivalent of an IQ of 125.
...

The average score nationally for police officers is 21 to 22, the equivalent of an IQ of 104, or just a little above average.

God forbid we get highly qualified people in these positions.

Another case of science being applied properly. However, there is one line that really sticks out:

On average Britons aged over 50 lose around 12 teeth out of 32.

Britons have bad teeth? Say it ain't so!

The rot is deep and getting worse every day.

When your job really is for the birds.

Val Kilmer thinks that Angelina Jolie is hot. While I agree with him-a lot- he has an odd way of stating his views. Excerpt:

Val Kilmer says Angelina Jolie is so stunning that even camels, palm trees and dead people are besotted with her.

Kilmer, who filmed Alexander with her in Morocco, said: "Even the camels were staring at her in a certain way. The palm trees too."

Oookaaayyyy Val. Why don't you go and take a nap now. However, here is the picture from the news article. Maybe staring at Angelina fused his cerbral cortex. Although it's my limbic system that gets affected by her, if you know what I mean.
angelina.jpg

Asia is embracing the penguin for their cell phones.

And in other Unix-related news, Red Hat software has released a Linux system for desktops. Unfortunately, it's not being distributed to consumers, but rather focuses on corporations and universities. Boo!

Planet killer? Yeah, but no worries this time. Maybe in 2562.

People overseas react when told that John Kerry is running for President.
Members of 'International Laughing Club' gesture and laugh as they  celebrate World Laughers Day in Bangalore, India, Sunday, May 2, 2004. The laughing club was founded in India in 1995 by Dr. Madan Kataria with the belief that laughing fits boost the immune system. (AP Photo/Gautam Singh)

Mailbox I'd like to have:
dons_dream_mailbox.jpg

Hat tip to the Volokh Conspiracy.

Posted by Physics Geek at 02:59 PM | Comments (1)

May 03, 2004

And the current bid is...

Infinitely more than the item is worth. Hat tip via Stephen Green.

Posted by Physics Geek at 07:25 PM | Comments (2)

What if...?

Michael Ackley's column today is an alternate reality setting for a meeting between Bush and Kerry. Excerpt:

The first speaker opens a rear door of the limousine and a man emerges. He is obviously fit and vigorous, and he bounds up the steps of the inn, flanked by agents talking into their sleeves.

Waiting inside with a rather less impressive retinue is a tall, almost gaunt gentleman.

The man from the limo speaks: "Is that your hair, or are you wearing a porcupine on your head?"

The taller man replies, gesturing to the first man's escort: "Any of these guys carrying weapons of mass destruction?"

The first advances, extending his hand.

"Senator!" he exclaims.

"Mr. President!" comes the answer.

Posted by Physics Geek at 05:01 PM | Comments (0)

We don't need no steenkin' common sense

Saw this collection of news snippets and one in particular caught my eye. Excerpt:

A high school science teacher who e-mailed a comic image of a scientist torched in a lab accident was called a racist because the scientist in the cartoon was African-American, reports the White Plains Journal.

The e-mail, sent by science teacher Mark Wolstencroft to the staff at White Plains High School, asked for nominations for outstanding science students. The attached cartoon featured a brown-skinned male with crossed eyes and an open mouth swaying back and forth with his hands in the air as smoke billows from a failed science experiment.

The text reads, "Teacher had a science accident."

An investigation is now underway, and everyone at school will be required to undergo sensitivity training as a result of the fracas.

Some local black leaders said the cartoon was part of the racism endemic in the area. Ernest Prince, president of the Urban League of Westchester, said the drawing was no more acceptable than a joke about the Holocaust.

The hyperbole in that last statement is a little over the top. And does anyone think that there'd be a single complaing if the cartoon had depicted a white scientist having a lab accident? Nah, me neither.

And one student pushes the envelope a little with her t-shirt. I agree that the shirt doesn't contain any actual profanity, but the implication is there. Excerpt:

The T-shirt says, "Somebody went to the Hoover Dam and all I got was this 'Dam' t-shirt."

My point of view? I'm not convinced that the nose-thumbing skirting of the rules by using "dam" instead of "damn" is necessarily appropriate for school.

Posted by Physics Geek at 03:48 PM | Comments (2)