July 06, 2005

Words of wisdom

Found at Hog On Ice. Excerpt:

A lot of men allow women's cruelty and dishonesty turn them into users; guys who nail as many women as possible, while shielding themselves completely from emotional involvement. This generally happens in high school. I may be an evil sexist, but I haven't done that. It's because my emotions are involved that I'm careful. I may be bitter, but I still think of women as people, not "pelts" or "slags" or whatever the latest slang term is.

Finally, I realize not all women are bad. I figure a man meets about two women every five years whom he should beg to marry him, and those women are true blessings. Unfortunately, I have a habit of missing the boat. I was too old when I finally understood what women are, and how important it is to pursue the good ones when you have the chance. I always knew what I wanted; I just didn't know how rare it was and how to separate it from the decoys.

Lots of my friends-especially my female friends- used to wonder why I was still single at the ripe old age of 35. I didn't have any prospects at the time, either. Some accused me of being "picky", like that was some sort of character flaw. I'll let you in on a little secret: finding someone that you might want to go out on dates with is easy. Finding someone that you actually envision spending your life with is hard. And when you're 30+, you need to be more discriminating that when you were 18. Let's face it: if you date someone for two years in your 20's and it doesn't work out, it'll hurt, but you'll recover. If you're 30+ or 40+, wasting a couple of years of your life on a relationship that you know won't last is just plain stupid.

I've never believed that there's only one perfect someone for each person. There are probably several thousand out there. Problem is that they aren't always available when you meet them. The trick is to be ready when they are free. Trust me: good women/men aren't usually on the market long. If you diddle around always looking for the greener grass and discover too late that you discarded the best lawn in town, well, that's just too bad. Keep looking. If you're lucky, you'll run into another one of your soulmates. Try not to be so stupid next time. You may not get another chance.

Posted by Physics Geek at July 6, 2005 12:55 PM | TrackBack StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!

I didn't find anyone I could become serious with until I was 33. And then I met my future wife who was celebrating her 18th birthday.

I also didn't believe in love at first sight until I met her. The old "ghost riders in the sky" phrase, "a bolt of fear went through him" best describes the experience.

It's been 27 years now, so we must be doing something right.

We got married 7 months later

Posted by: Frank Borger at July 6, 2005 04:35 PM

It's worth noting that just because a failed relationship isn't readily replaced, that doesn't necessarily make it "the best lawn in town".

If what you've got is good, be happy and don't worry about whether some marginal improvement might be possible by trading up. But if it's not, then don't assume you can never have better. It's easy to waste a lot of life that way too.

(As for me...well, no current relationship or apparent prospects, but I'm nevertheless happier single and celibate than I was in my last relationship.)

Posted by: Matt at July 7, 2005 05:19 AM

"If what you've got is good, be happy and don't worry about whether some marginal improvement might be possible by trading up."

That's how I feel about my wife. She's about 95% perfect. The 5% "room for improvement" is fairly superficial - it's not any deep character flaws.

If I ever met a 97 percenter, she wouldn't be worth the trouble of trading up to.

Posted by: Harvey at July 9, 2005 01:21 PM