June 07, 2005

Dance like nobody's watching

Better yet, like the whole freaking world is watching. It's especially effective if you're a no talent, rhythmless dork whose best move resembles nothing so much as a seizure. Say, I think I'm qualified to discipline hooligans in this manner. Excerpt:

Yep, that's right. This morning I was sitting on the bridge once again, waiting for the train to pass. As fate would have it, who was right in front of me but Radiokid (that's right, that's what I call him now)! I was so happy I almost thanked him for the opportunity to right my wrongs!
Just as polite and cheerful as could be, I hopped out of my faithful 'Yota and trotted up next to him. "Hi!" I grinned. "Say, would you mind turning down your music, please?"
His response was direct and coarse, and I shall not here repeat what he said. Except to say that it sounded a lot like Fuck you.
That made me even happier. I looked at him real mean, like I was about to rip his guts out through his throat, and I said, "Turn it down right now or I swear I'm going to start dancing." I waited a second until he realized what I'd actually said, I got a great double take, and then I said, "And you don't want that." I then followed up with some more taunting, like Bring it on, and Don't think I won't.
Sure enough, he cranked up the volume until his whole car was reverberating. So nice of him to oblige.

And so, right there on the bridge, in full view of the morning traffic, the CT River, and the city of Brattleboro, VT, I worked it, baby. I didn't just put on a little cha-cha. Oh no. This sucker incurred the full measure of my wrath. And I don't mind saying, it was a damned fearful thing. Men trembled. Women shrieked. I give Radiokid credit -- he lasted nearly a half-minute before he pulled out of line and skinned out. I know exactly which move it was that crossed the line for him, too. But you don't want to know about that.

Thanks to Claire Wolfe for the link.

Posted by Physics Geek at June 7, 2005 11:18 PM StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!

I'll have to remember that move :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 8, 2005 09:19 AM

I just threaten to sing in my household. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at June 8, 2005 03:22 PM