Physics Geek
CHRISTMAS INFO MEMO 12/21
IT CAME UPON A SERVER CLEAR...
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Archaeologists working in the Holy Land have discovered an ancient
diskette mixed up with the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Here is what they found on the diskette:
Date: Mon, 2 Dec
To: all@gol.com
From: Caesar_Augustus@Rome.gov
Subject: Taxes, Census
I decree that all the inhabited world shall be counted and taxed. You must
every one go unto your own city.
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Date: Wed, 4 Dec
From: nazrthjosph@gol.com
Subject: Reservations
Please reserve room for two, perhaps three, for December 24 to
January 6.
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Date: Fri, 6 Dec
From: Inn@Bethlehem.com
Subject: RE: Reservations
Sorry, no room available. We've got the Hanukkah rush and the census crowd.
Thank heaven Athens beat us out for the Olympics this year! Why not come in
the off-season and get our special rate? Anyway, if you have a forms-capable
browser, you can register for the census and pay your taxes on the Med Wide Web
at http://mww.Caesar.gov/render.html.
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Date: Sun, 8 Dec
From: nazrthjosph@gol.com
Subject: RE: RE: Reservations
Forms-capable browser? You must be kidding! It'll probably take
Galilee OnLine a couple of thousand years to work out access like
that. Please place us on waiting list for room.
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Date: Mon, 23 Dec
From: healthdept@ci.beth.judea
Subject: Temporary Permit
Due to the crush of taxpayers and holiday visitors, you are hereby
granted a permit to use your stable, barn, or any agricultural outbuildings
for temporary lodging or shelter for up to 30 days from this date.
Address any appeals to:
Herod@Jerusalem.gov
ATTN: Manger Manager
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
To: Webmaster@houseofdavid.net
From: nazrthjosph@gol.com
Subject: It's a boy!
Unto us a son is born.
Let the family know. He came upon a midnight clear, away in a manger.
Hope to upgrade room.
Love, Joe
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
From: heraldangels@lord.org
Subject: Hark!
Tidings of great joy: Unto you is born this day in the city of David
a Saviour.
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
From: heavenlyhost@lord.org
Subject: Praise the Lord ...
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward
men.
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
From: heavenlyhost@lord.org
Subject: ... and Pass the Admonition
If ye do not act now, rates for heavenly hostingWeb sites will go up
January 1. Sign up now to lock in current prices, so ye can make known
abroad (at our famous low rates) the saying which was told you
concerning this child, glorifying and praising God for all the things
that ye have heard and seen, as it was told unto you.
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
From: shepherds@nightwatch.com
Subject: RE: ... and Pass the Admonition
Angels we have heard on high. We'll sign up, but only if you can get
us the domain name we want: FirstNoel.com.
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Date: Wed, 25 Dec
From: melchior@magi.edu
Subject: Star sighting
We've seen the light! Heading your way. May take a few days. Caspar wants
to pick up some gold, frankincense, and myrrh before leaving. And for some
reason, everything seems to be closed today. Also, transportation is heavily
booked westward leading, still proceeding. We just got bumped off a caravan
because Balthazar wanted a non-smoking camel. See you January 6 or so.
Sorry we'll miss the bris. So, what are you going to name the kid, anyway?
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And his name shall be called Jesus.
That's what this is all about...
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Stumble It!
Close, Amigo, but they'd still all be usin' juno that far back.
Posted by: Tig at December 8, 2004 05:16 AMJuno? What is this Juno of which you speak.
Posted by: physics geek at December 8, 2004 01:38 PMSomething I wrote some years ago:
The 10 Commandments of the World Wide Web
(*as told to Bob Strauss, 10/1/97)
1. Thou shalt have no other URLs before mine (www.GOD.hvn)
2. Thou shalt not surf idly
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Webmaster in vain (that is,
www.vain.com)
4. Six days shalt thou labor, but the seventh day shalt be to surf
5. Honor thy Guru and thy Webmaster
6. Thou shalt not use spam to kill discourse on the world wide web
7. Thou shalt not adulterate thy homepage
8. Thou shalt not steal others' homepages
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness, but thy will create only viable links
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's homepage, nor his links
* as told to, in the biblical sense, is roughly equivalent to copyright.